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Biromantic Demisexual?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by zigzag1188, Feb 12, 2017.

  1. zigzag1188

    Regular Member

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    So I've posted a bit on here about how confused I am about my sexual orientation and I have come to the conclusion that I am bi, but I don't feel sexually towards someone unless I knew them really really well. Like I was in love with my best friend for 3 years. He's nice, kind, smart,athletic,and good looking. I did want to have sex with him ( but sadly I was frinedzoned and sucked). I have realized recently that I don't find people hot which I think Is why I've been so confused. Like I can admit when both sexes are attractive because I'm not blind. I like the female body and enjoy looking at a guys body as well, but when my friends talk about strangers or even people I don't know very well in a sexual way I just don't feel the same way. This lead to lots of confusionn because I thought that because I wasn't sexually attracted to guys that I must be a lesbian, but I realized I feel the same way about girls. It's funny cuz I've always thought of myself has a fairly sexual person because I watch porn and I masterbate, but I was told that that doesn't matter. Anway I've always fallen for my friends that may not be that attractive, but are fantastic people. Is it possible to be bisexual and demisxual or am I still just confused? sorry if this is confusing, if you need clarification please just ask.
     
  2. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Hi, (and a belated welcome).

    First, what you're experiencing is well within the bounds of normal sexual arousal/attraction (or lack thereof) that many people feel. No special label needed. About half of the population doesn't feel strong attraction to people until they get to know them, so you're far from alone.

    You've also gotten poor advice about masturbation and its connection to sexual arousal; people who don't have sexual desire generally don't masturbate. (I realize there are a couple of tiny communities whose information isn't based on anything factual that make alternate claims, but the prevailing knowledge, research and experience of those who work in the field says otherwise.)

    Very often, people in your situation have some underlying issue - anxiety, depression, childhood issues -- that impact emotional expression, which, in turn, can impact the ability to feel sexual arousal. These are very solvable problems. It's also quite possible, depending on your age, that what you're experiencing could simply be that your sexual maturity hasn't reached peak development yet.

    In short... I wouldn't worry about any special unrecognized labels... just simply be you, and see what unfolds, and if there are some other related issues that could be contributing, explore those issues.