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Not attracted to older women

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by butHitlerisDead, Feb 12, 2017.

  1. butHitlerisDead

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    I'm only 18, so not being attracted to older women isn't really an issue at this point in my life, however it does bother me a bit when I try to picture myself in a long term relationship with a woman. I enjoy the thought of being in a relationship with a woman now, and find young women (<30) attractive, but picturing life with a woman 20-30 years down the line just feels odd, for lack of a better word. I simply don't find older women attractive at all.

    Maybe it's simply my maturity, and I'll find the thought of a relationship with someone older feel more comfortable as I grow to be that age myself. However, when I picture myself with a man in a relationship down the line, it feels perfectly normal. I wonder if part of this is because societally men are considered attractive for longer in their lives, and I have subconsciously grown to not be able to see older women as attractive.

    To add to this, when I see middle-aged straight or gay male couples I may be able to think "Aww what a cute couple," but when I see middle aged lesbian couples I have a different emotional reaction. I find the idea of two older women together foreign in a way and can't imagine why they are attracted to each other. I know that's really weird, but it's a bit hard for me to describe. I don't feel the same way about young lesbian couples.

    I'm just asking for what your thoughts are on this, and whether you think this is any indication that I wouldn't be able to have a relationship with a woman once I'm older? Or do you think my attraction would change as I age? Is this normal for me to feel this way, or does it mean I may lean less toward women than I thought? Thanks for any input.
     
    #1 butHitlerisDead, Feb 12, 2017
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2017
  2. beenthrdonetht

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    To be very brief:

    Quite likely. This is what I would have said if you hadn't already.

    Yup. What I said before.

    I think your attraction would change. It's just so hard to imagine when you're 18. You suspect this yourself, and (to your credit) say so, and I think you are right. It is normal to feel that way, probably most of us have wondered about old couples, when we were young. And the heteronormativity and paternalism makes older males seem still "in the game." Just think of James Bond. (Although he has been getting younger.)

    In short, you called it all correctly, and it doesn't really indicate any less leaning toward women. It's just normal life. You can relax a bit.
     
  3. BrookeVL

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    When I was 18, I thought the same way. I couldn't see myself with someone over 30, I just did not find older women attractive(wasn't really aware of my bi-ness back then, so can't say about guys), even into my 20's. Only now that I approach 30 do I find myself able to be attracted to older people, between 30 and 45. I think it's perfectly normal to be attracted to people closer in age to you.

    Conversely, I find the idea of entering into a relationship with an 18 year old to be odd. I might do it if they were special, and a very good prospect aside from age. 6 years or so either way is what I would consider my "sweet spot."
     
    #3 BrookeVL, Feb 13, 2017
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2017