I've suffered from OCD and intrusive thoughts for a while. Especially about my sexual orientation. For a while I was super happy with identifying as gay. Now I'm starting to get intrusive thoughts about being bisexual again. Like if I'm around a good looking guy. I can't talk to a lot of people about this because when I do this proves to them I'm secretly bi. Everyone thinks I'm secretly bi or straaight.
What "Everyone" thinks doesn't matter. YOU are the first person that matters. The people that you are in relationships with matter, but, only if they accept who YOU are. If they don't, then... THEY don't matter. You label the thoughts as "Intrusive." That makes it sound as if they are in the way. Is that true?
Intrusive thoughts are a symptom of anxiety/OCD. People doubting my sexuality really makes my anxiety/OCD symptoms flare up. I've been putting some effort into not caring what people think, but I still get intrusive thoughts. The intrusive thoughts mainly pop up when I say good looking guys. I get intrusive thoughts about being attracted to them even though there's no real proof that I'm attracted to guys. I've tried identifying as bisexual/no label/queer in the past, but it never feels right. I think that's a clue that those intrusive don't mean anything, but they still feel very real.
I know what you mean Try telling yourself this: if there is an accompanying feeling of awful fear or guilt (from OCD) when you have these thoughts then clearly you don't want to be having them and they bring you no satisfaction. Don't dwell on it and try your best to find some distractions. While you are in periods where the thoughts are frequent or intense then try not to be left alone for so long when your mind can and will wander, keep yourself busy and acknowledge that they are intrusive thoughts, and nothing more. The harder you try not to think about something, the more likely you are to think about it. Lastly; don't ask anyone for validation of support if you know or suspect that they will think that you're bisexual. Having your fear affirmed by someone is literally the worst thing you can do - even if they misunderstand the situation it still feels awful. I hope I've been of some help and that you will be feeling better soon (*hug*)
