Up until very recently, I have liked both guys and girls. I've been aware of my attraction to girls since grade 7, when I realized I had a crush on my closest friend (which still hasn't gone away, unfortunately) and from then on, I believe my attraction to women has deepened. At first, I liked only one girl and mostly guys. It has been this way until I reached the second semester of grade 10, when I came out to one of my friends who was going through the same problems as me. The more people I told about my sexuality, the more I found myself attracted to the girls around me. At the moment, I rarely even consider dating a guy, and they just don't catch my attention anymore? Is it possible for your sexuality to change over time, or could I be influenced by my surroundings into being more attracted to women? I always have this fear that I'm faking it, and I really don't want to enter a relationship and realize its not what I want at all! I'm worried that maybe it's just me forcing myself to like women because I don't think men are attracted to me, but at the same time that doesn't make sense because I'm even less likely to find a woman that likes me? I'm so confused.... :icon_sad:
Well, first of all, why did you think that you liked guys? It is also a possibility that you were always a lesbian, but that your feelings for women have grown over the years because once you realized you were attracted to women you allowed these attractions to exist more and more. A lot of lesbians start out with thinking that they like guys because that's the norm.
I don't think you're faking it. Like you said, it's hard enough finding women to date, why would you make things harder for yourself by only being interested in women because you can't find a man? I think you should try dating women and see what happens.
You know, I went through the same damn thing. I also used to think I liked men. But I only ever "crushed" on men who liked me first, and I'd dump them within a week. I also just wanted to be close to men, but I didn't realize I only wanted to be close platonicly. Once I realized I liked women, I thought I was bi. But women were all I ever thought about. I thought I was just thinking about them so much because I was finally letting myself embrace it, and I thought maybe I was making myself think about women more, but truth was, I only wanted women all along. That's why even when I "liked" a guy, I would break up with them so fast. You know, I really don't think I can tell you what your sexuality is. You might actually be bi. I am just saying that, what you are experiencing now is something I, too, experienced before realizing that I am, in fact, a lesbian. But there is a chance you are actually bi. My advice to you is to not force yourself to think about men more than women or women more than men. Just let yourself think about whatever you feel like, whatever that may be. Consider how you have felt when actually with men vs when with women. And don't come out as anything specific until you are certain.
Thank you so much for all of your responses! I agree, I believe I do need to try out different relationships to see what I like and what I don't. But reading these have helped me realize a few things about my attractions to men... they were all pretty short lived and based around either a general admiration or desire to be friends with them... whereas if I am attracted to a girl, it lasts very long and I wish for more than just a friendship. Recently, if a man does happen to catch my eye, they tend to be pretty feminine. But I will take your advice to not think too much about what gender I am attracted to and allow myself to like whatever I like without questioning it. Thanks again :icon_bigg
