hello, I've always identified myself as straight (i'm a 27yr old female), however I've never been in a relationship with a man. I've have casual things, where I've been physically attracted to men but never on romantic level. After knowing men for a few weeks I find an excuse to stop seeing them. At the same time, for many years i have noticed that I have been forming very close friendship with females. I knew that how I felt about them was more than friendship, however I have never been sexually attracted to them. This left me very confused about my sexuality because I feel like I have been in love with women but never sexually attracted, and on the flip side I am attracted to men but never able to connect with them on an emotional level. I recently discovered the term panromanic which i think might describe me. I currently have a close friend who I feel like I'm in love with (although not physically attracted to). She is hetrosexual. She's just got into a new relationship and I found myself very jealous and have already been negative about it. This exact situation has happened to me before and I lost the friendship. I think I was in denial and became bitter about the fact she was in a relationship and eventually pushed her away because I found it too hard to keep it bottled up. I really don't want to lose another friendship in this way and feel like it might be a continual problem whenever I build strong female friendship. Does anyone have any ideas/advise about how maintain friendship (and deal with unrequited love) in these situations whilst also satisfying my own needs. Thanks
It sounds like you're heterosexual, possibly homoromantic. Having flings with guys (particularly physical ones) is a fairly good sign that you're not asexual, and not being attracted to other women makes me think you're probably not bi either, you mentioned not being able to connect with guys you've dated, panromantic wouldn't be my first guess. This begs the question of whether you maybe just haven't found the right guy yet, one you have lots in common with, and can form emotional connections to. Perhaps it just takes you a while to form these bonds - or, maybe you're homoromantic, and only really fall in love with the same sex. There's also a chance you could be homo-demisexual, and if you get close enough to a woman emotionally you may start to be attracted to her physically, as well as emotionally. This is all speculation, your body knows what it wants, trust your instincts. Loving someone and not having them love you back is crap, my best advice is to try to accept their unattainability, and try to preserve the friendship, but if that's not viable, you may have to distance yourself a bit - at least until the feelings fade enough to be manageable. On a side note: I love that your location is in capitals - I read it like a Yorkshire war-cry 'BAAAHNZLEHH!!'. All the best, good luck.
