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Falling for a man but am a lesbian.... What does it mean?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by BeanMachine, Feb 22, 2017.

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  1. BeanMachine

    BeanMachine
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    I've posted something regarding this same situation in here maybe a month ago and am still so confused...
    I identify as a Lesbian and have had successful relationships with women. I have dated men in the past but nothing ever lasted and have never done anything sexual with them before.

    I am seeing this girl and am for sure in love with her. But I have this friend that happens to be a guy and he's super cool. We get along so well and have hit it off since the beginning. There are these feelings that have come up that I try to not pay attention to. I've gotten pretty good at pushing them away but recently, we have gotten closer and these feelings have grown. I know that I'm not physically attracted to him but I love everything else about him. He's such a genuine guy and has all the qualities that I would look for in a person. I'm pretty sure he has feelings for me too but he knows I am a lesbian. I sometimes think about maybe I could be with him, but that lack of physical attraction stops me. I know he's such a great guy but I feel a little guilty and confused for having these feelings. I don't know whether it's just this kind of platonic love situation or what...

    Has anyone been in this type of situation before?

    Thanks in advance for any advice or wise words.
     
    #1 BeanMachine, Feb 22, 2017
  2. Loveislife

    Loveislife
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    Hi,

    Well, I've thought I loved boys before in my life, but I still always lacked sexual attraction to them. As you said, I think that strong platonic love can feel very similar to romantic love. However.... if you're not sexually attracted to him, I don't think it's going to work out in the long run between you two. If you still want to pursue him, that's your choice, but keep in mind that this might be or become a problem.
     
    #2 Loveislife, Feb 23, 2017
  3. Zen fix

    Zen fix
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    If you feel this affection this strongly but still aren't interested in physical intimacy you are probably just a lesbian. Congratulations!
    One question though. Are you not physically attracted to him because he's a male or because physically he just isn't your type? Like if he had a different look would you be attracted to him then?

    Either way it sounds like a good relationship so you should talk to him about it because if he's straight and you think he has feelings it's going to hurt if he falsely believes there's a chance to be together.
     
    #3 Zen fix, Feb 23, 2017
  4. Sinopaa

    Sinopaa
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    You might be somewhat heteromantic.
     
    #4 Sinopaa, Feb 23, 2017
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