all my life ive had noticeable crushes on guys. but never with girls, until i looked back on old friends and the type of relationships we had. i would always follow them around, be insanely close to them, and get very jealous if they got a boyfriend. so i started thinking... did i have crushes on them? now about a year ago, i started masturbating to girls. i thought that maybe since i had crushes on guys i thought i was bisexual. and i constantly fantasize about having sex with women. i even have dreams about it. but ive tried thinking about men, but it really grosses me out. and when my friends talk about "hot" celebrities guys, i think about how un-hot they are. my celebrity crush is a woman (kate upton). but i barely have crushes on women, most of my crushes have been guy-friends and females identifying as neither boy or girl. so am i a panromantic lesbian?
Hi, I'd say you're probably a lesbian. If thinking about having sex with men grosses you out, then that's a strong hint that you're not sexually attracted to men (but you have already figured this out, it seems). There is no evidence to prove that one can have a separate romantic and sexual orientation, so it is unlikely that you are truly romantically attracted to guys if you're not sexually attracted to them. And , you should also ask yourself this: do you truly want to be with guys romantically if the thought of having sex with them grosses you out? A lot of gay people think at some point that they are only romantically attracted to the opposite sex. This is probably caused by heteronormativity: being attracted to the opposite sex is considered to be the norm and heterosexuality is considered to be the 'default' orientation. So, a lot of gay people assume that they're straight at first, and want to be attracted to the opposite sex to fit this norm, so they might genuinely think that they are attracted to the opposite sex in some way at some point in their lives.... But, in the end, sexual attraction is the most important component to determine your sexuality. And , the fact that you've never had any crushes on girls could be caused by that you have not fully accepted your sexuality yet. I have thought in a way that is similar to yours at some point in my life and I also never had any real life girl crushes. This changed as I started to accept that I am a lesbian more.
