Hello, All. I'm a closeted gay now in my late 20s. Never dated/had sex with a guy before. During my early teen and college years, never had a chance. I've decided to give it a try now that I've relocated to a different state far from my family. I've been seeing a guy who is about my age for a few weeks now and I feel there is chemistry between us. In terms of intimate physical contact, we kissed and made out a few times. That's it. Things are going amazing and now he hinted about having "real sex", which I also want to. He is coming over at my place this weekend. It seems he has some experience and prefers to tom. Which is okay with me because I think I prefer to bottom. How should I prepare myself? Is anal sex very painful. Anyone has stories to share. I'd appreciate it. Thanks.
I think the biggest thing is to make sure that you relax and move at a pace you're comfortable with. I don't think you need to do a ton to prepare if you've had a regular bowel movement a while beforehand. You can do an enema if you want for peace of mind. As far as pain, it can be painful. My first time wasn't, but I've had times when it has been. Usually it's because there's not enough lube or things are moving too fast, or sometimes it's just not the right day for it. Make sure you use lots of lube (seriously use more than you think you'd need). I'd recommend starting on top of him, that way you can control the pace better. Also, be safe! Use a condom Don't feel pressured to have sex though if you're not feeling it when he comes over. It's way more likely to hurt and you won't enjoy it as much.
Hey benz22831, You might want to check out the following pages in the Resources section of EC: Empty Closets - Gay Safe Sex Empty Closets - Getting Clean for Anal Sex Empty Closets - Anal Sex
Pretty much agree with everything here - to it I'd add: Much like lube, lots of communication is important during sex. In particular, realize the other guy can't read your mind, nor can he feel what you're feeling (and vice versa). Both of you should be open to telling the other what you're like or not liking. That includes things like 'faster, slower, a bit to the left, do that again, etc.). When bottoming for the first time, I recommend starting out on your side, with the top behind you on his side. That way neither of you are fighting gravity. Once the top has penetrated you, you can either continue from there or switch to another position that suits you better. Speaking of positions, you may find that you like some better than others or even actively dislike some. If a particular position isn't doing it for you, don't be afraid to switch. Don't rush, and take your time. You'll likely be nervous, but with proper preparation, including making out, oral, mutual masturbation, and fingering, and a bit of mental effort, you can relax and let a guy in pretty easily. It gets easier with practice as well. Eventually, you may find yourself able to relax and let a guy in as easily as you shift your weight from one foot to the other. And of course, always, always practice safe sex. Hope this helps, Todd
I am a top, and even with an experience bottom there is a need for optimum comfort to put it lightly. I bottomed a couple time, the first time was not so pleasant and the second time was awesome. Be sure that your partner understands it is your first time and has the patience with you. That is very much the key, be comfortable, have a partner who understands you, and one that you can trust. AND HAVE FUN! I hope it goes well haha
