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I thought I was gay, but I now think I could be bisexual?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by RainbowsFactory, Feb 26, 2017.

  1. RainbowsFactory

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    So I thought that I was gay my whole life, but I am now unsure! I am almost 17 and I already came out to my mum, sisters and most of my friends as gay, and they have been very supportive. :slight_smile: I am really confused now... I remember when I was little, I had a few crushes on girls (in fact, I had very big crush on this girl when I was about 10 or 11). I also am experimenting with myself to see if I get sexually aroused by women. I am so unsure though because I just realised now! :frowning2: What can I do? Sorry for being in such a dramatic mood.
     
  2. Iliricon

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    Well maybe you aren't as gay as you thought ;-) Would that be a bad thing? Of course it might be kind of weird to come out again telling people: "Well, I am not as gay as I thought" but really, it is not a problem unless you feel it is. Also you don't have to come out again, unless you get a girlfriend for real.

    Shifts in orientation, especially during adolescence are not uncommon and can happen later too (although it is an ongoing discussion whether your actual orientation really can change or you can just realize different tastes later). Some scientists even say that sexual orientation is not fixed or recognizable until the early twenties. I considered myself straight by default during my puberty and only realized my strong preference for men during the last 4 years.

    Several mostly gay guys I know had temporary attraction to women and even had girlfriends. Some consider themselves bisexual, some still say they are gay. I believe the lines between gay and bisexual are a lot more blurry then many people care to admit.

    Take your time and relax. If you become really interested in a girl, I suggest you see where it leads. Loving and everything beyond that is fun, so don't close yourself of to anything only because you believe your gay. And if you truly are gay and just temporarily confused. That's still fine ;-)

    Alles Gute auf jeden Fall, Grüße aus Deutschland
     
  3. RainbowsFactory

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    Danke schön!

    Thank you so much, this response really helps! I'll wait and see what happens, and if a girl makes me happy, then that's just as great as if I had a boyfriend. :slight_smile:
     
  4. nxtjxn

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    Take the time you need to figure yourself out while keeping in mind that, for some people, sexuality isn't static over time and it's not all black and white (b&w are just the edges of the spectrum) and, for example, you can feel attraction to both men and women and still identify as gay just because it's not 50% 50% but rather 90% 10%. It's all about what you're most comfortable with. Don't let other people decide for you and, definitely, don't rush into a label just because you feel like you should.
     
  5. quebec

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    Hi RainbowsFactory It's a good thing that you are doing some self-analysis to find out what you really feel like, what/who you are really interested in. It's not bad at all to think through these things and take a serious look at who you are and where you you are going. One thing you might consider is this...sexual orientation is not binary. Human beings are not necessarily gay or straight. It is more like a line with homosexual at one end and heterosexual at the other end. Some people do indeed end up at one end or the other. However, most people actually find themselves somewhere between the two extremes. You may very well be very close to the gay end of the spectrum, but not all the way to the extreme end. Which means that sometimes, in some situations you may feel a little less gay than what is normal for you and a little more straight than you usually do. I have a friend who doesn't really pay too much attention to whether a person is gay or straight. He is more attracted to the personality of someone. That means that he may become involved with a guy because their personality attracts him, while later on the same thing might happen with a girl because her personality attracts him. Anyway, try not to let this bother you too much. I am really quite far to the gay side of that line, but I have been married to woman for 38 years and I do love her. Sometimes that's confusing, but human beings specialize in "confusing"!!.....David
     
  6. DreamonRose

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    You are not being dramatic at all you have the right to need help and being confused. Was a girl in real life that caused you to have these feelings? I feel like you cant let a crush from long ago dictate anything now because you change like I thought I liked guys but I am supes gay. So I feel like you will move past this thought because it might be nothing. But if it is not why not try looking at women and see how you could be romantically attracted to them.