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Confused but not so confused *♀️

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Yogagirl, Feb 28, 2017.

  1. Yogagirl

    Regular Member

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    Hey everybody!
    So I'll try to keep this simple, I could really use some thoughts/advice. So I'm 24, female, and have always been in Hetero relationships. I've had two long term relationships, one of them I am currently still in... so the first one, I found I really enjoyed the sex (or maybe just the attention) for the first 6 months to a year, it was super and frequent and I was fine with it. As time went on, I found myself less and less attracted to him, and especially him being aroused by me. I also ended up really not liking the guy as a person but out of fear wasted 4 years in total with him. So I finally ended it, and I was going to be single and find myself and yada yada. Then I hit it off with my good friends friend, same thing happened, but at least in this relationship I like the guy, mostly. But after six months, the attraction was gone. I've gone to councelling with and without him and essentially terrified that I'm not emotionally available once I get to know someone. When I was 17, before either of these relationships I was in love with a girl, but over the internet. Both emotional and physical attraction. I finally told her; she didn't feel that way and I was devestated. Then there was a girl I worked with, I was crazy about her but she had her priorities fucked up, I never told her how I felt, and ended up just disappearing. Now there's this girl, and I really like her. But being as I've never physically been with a girl, I'm afraid of ending a relationship where we are good together for the most part, to find out maybe I wouldn't like being with a girl anyways. What should I do? I was drunk a lot, when I met up with my boyf end, and we recently both sobered up, I've been going through a lot of life changes and realizations, so maybe I've just been hiding from myself for so long, and now I'm finally cleaning up I can't deny it. Or maybe I'm afraid of being comfortable with someone and I'll always find a reason to leave....