I am a college student who has recently been questioning whether or not I'm attracted to girls. I've only dated guys in the past, but I'm starting to question it more strongly now that I'm single. I usually just write down my sexuality as straight to make things easier and because I've never tried anything with a girl before. I just find girls to be attractive and I think I would like to date some of them and cuddle with them. I have kissed a girl once, my friend, just to try it. I would like to try it again. Sometimes I just kind of find myself staring at girls. It's confusing to me because I've never really questioned my sexuality like this before. Overall, I'm fine with being bisexual because I have supportive friends. But I just really don't know how to figure it out. How can you tell if you're attracted to the same sex in a romantic/sexual way? Sorry if this is rambling haha.
It sounds like possibly you may be bisexual. Think about how kissing your friend made you feel. Did you enjoy it? Do you want to go further? What do you usually fantasize about? There is nothing wrong with experimenting if you feel like that may be the best option for you. Only you can tell! And you did not ramble at all, you're good.
My friend and I had been drinking some wine, and I brought up kissing, and she was like all right let's try it. And we kissed, I enjoyed it and tried to make it last longer. I think usually I fantasize about guys, but maybe I would fantasize more about girls if I ever did anything with girls. I think I've had crushes on girls before that I didn't recognize as actual crushes. Thanks for your reply!
Not sure if it's the same for everyone but I can share with you my experience of realizing I was romantically and sexually attracted to women. (And like you I had only had relationships with men prior to this realization.) It started with a particular woman, a friend, and a deep emotional connection developing between us. Then it moved to me wanting to be near her all the time, and enjoying the flirting going on between us, and everytime she touched me (just on my hand, or putting her arm around me or whatever), I felt sort of a tingle down my spine. I fantasized about being on a date with her, like taking her to a romantic dinner and about kissing her, and cuddling with her. I also realized I always wanted to look my best when we were going to be together. And of course this isn't something I am too concerned about with just regular friends, girls or guys. Anyway, it became really clear to me that I was sexually attracted to her. Confusing to me, but clear nonetheless. I really started questioning my sexuality, and realizing it was actually women I was more drawn to. Looking back, I suppose there were signs of my being attracted to women and having crushes on girls all my life (and more than just the 'girl-crush' thing.)--but I denied these feelings. But being older now, and realizing it's just fine and okay to be me, I guess I am more comfortable being the real me. Anyway, it sounds like you have at least some sexual attraction to women. My advice would be to allow yourself to explore these feelings. You can check out other posts here too, many people here are questioning, and it may be helpful to read their stories/experiences too!
Thank you for your post! When we first met my friend told me she was physically attracted to me (she's also somewhat questioning) but I was with my boyfriend at the time (who introduced me to her) so nothing happened. Since then, she started seeing this jerk who I always try to convince her is wrong for her, but she told me she fantasized about taking me out for a date for Valentine's Day. I think I would try going out with her if not for the fact that she keeps going out with this jerk. I think I have felt something at least similar to what you felt for your friend with girls I've met. I think I've felt attracted to some of my friends and have wanted to touch them.
It sounds like you are "questioning" in a good calm way, not a frantic anxious way. Good start. When people say things like your friend said (she'd like a date on V-day) they are usually just not fooling around. Maybe she is hoping you will sweep her away from the guy who isn't really right for you. Although I think you are on the high road saying (in effect) I'm not a homewrecker. I'll date you when you're available. And I do tend to think that kissing is a more telling sign than sex even. It's (paradoxically) more intimate. You sound bi at least; I hope you become comfortably bi.
