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14 year old girl who likes girls

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Sensational, Mar 7, 2017.

  1. Sensational

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    I think I might be a lesbian or bisexual and I'm it sure how to deal with it. I'm 14 and all my friends are getting boyfriends and going on dates; everything seems so easy for them. Nobody has ever liked me. I'm not ugly but I'm not pretty either. When I was like 4 my mom would be like oh and you're going to marry some guy one day or bath blah something like that. I told myself I wanted to marry a girl . Anyway, there is this girl at my school who I think I might like but I know she likes some guy. I feel so weird and it makes me hate myself. I've never told anyone about this and I can't because my whole family is Christian and I'd probably be told I was crazy or kicked out when I'm old enough. Everyone at my school makes fun of LGBT... I don't have anyone to talk to

    Thanks for reading
     
  2. Really

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    Hey Sensational,

    Please don't hate yourself. This confusion is totally normal when you first begin to seriously think about who you are. There's absolutely nothing wrong wth being a lesbian or bisexual.

    You never know how your parents will react because they may surprise you but, for now, you don't need to worry about it until you decide you're ready to talk to them about it.

    As for the others at school, have you ever stood up for or thought about standing up for someone who is being picked on? A smaller kid, someone being unfairly treated? Maybe you could think of the times when others are making fun of LGBT people as a chance to stand up against unjust treatment. All you have to say is "Stop that." If you're worried you'll be "outed" by association, you can challenge them as to why standing up for those being persecuted is anything other than taking a stand against bullying. Does your school allow bullying? Let the rules about that be your guide.

    I think standing up against this will actually make you feel better and not so shaky.

    Maybe take some time and just see how you feel about girls in general. That one who likes a guy is probably a lost cause and you don't want to get stuck on her. :astonished:

    You can keep talking here. Anytime. You can also check this out for live chatting with an LGBT support org in Guelph. (You don't have to live there to use them.) http://www.qlinks.ca/outline
     
  3. idefygravity

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    It's totally okay to be unsure of your sexuality. Don't worry too much about labeling your sexuality and defining it- you have SO much time to do that. I'm almost 19 and even I haven't figured that all out yet!

    If you don't feel comfortable when your friends talk about their dates and boyfriends, you can always try to talk about something else? They may seem like it's really easy for them, and maybe it's easier in that they know who they like, but dating is new for everyone at 14. And if you do decide that your sexuality is something that you feel ready to talk about, sometimes friends can be the best options.
    No matter what your family says or mentions, know that it doesn't necessarily mean that they won't be accepting. Like I said and the post above said, though, be sure that you're ready. You don't need to come out to anyone until you absolutely feel that you're ready to (You'll know when that time is).

    The most important thing to realize right now is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Your feelings are real and they matter. :slight_smile: If you ever need to talk, there are always people here that will give you advice, or even just listen.
     
  4. covert direwolf

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    Hi. I'm 14 too, and sort of in a similar situation. I go to a Catholic school and have a crush on my best friend...

    My parents are homophobic, and I know it's really hard when people make fun of stuff like this. Talking on this site has really helped me, and finding stuff to do to try to motivate myself when I'm not particularly ok.

    But you should be confident in who you are. I'm a lesbian, and I may not be out, but I have let myself know that this is who I am and it has made me much happier. No matter what anyone else thinks, you are homosexual and beautiful.

    (*hug*)
     
  5. 2Cats2Moms

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    I remember going through this at around the same age. I liked one of my friends, but she was straight (it happens to all of us at some point). It doesn't make you weird, and don't ever hate yourself for who you are. It's a confusing time in everyone's life, no matter your sexual orientation, but adding that in the mix can make you feel alienated and like an outcast.
    Before you worry about anyone, be true and honest with yourself and your feelings. I would recommend your closest friends to come out to first when you choose to do so (my friends already knew, they were just waiting for me to tell them).
    Parents are a touchy subject, my parents and my partners parents were very harsh at first. It took them nearly 3 years to come around. You never know how they can react, sometimes they can surpass you, and sometimes it's what you expected but you can always wait to tell them until your ready, even if that's when you're 23.
    You took a great step coming to a forum for support, an online community can really make a difference. (&&&)
     
  6. Sensational

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    Thanks for your replies!!
     
  7. bigurl

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    I'm also a 14 year old, who is bisexual.
    Like said above, have some self confidence, because it really helps you emotionally through this process.

    The following points are some things I found helpful when figuring out my sexuality:
    Lesbian:
    - Always felt different
    - Picturing yourself with a girl
    - Always had a stronger emotional connection with girls
    Bisexual:
    - Had some form of attraction to guys (big or small)
    - Also cared for girls when you were younger


    That being said, don't feel a need to label yourself. Coming out is a process, and even if you're confused, it will all work out in the end :slight_smile:

    You can simply label yourself queer if you like.