Okay, so i really do feel like a contradictory statement right now. My girlfriend of eight months and I are really, really deep in love, and due to the distance (she lives in another state) I rarely see her. Usually us meeting up will consist of a movie cuddle session on the couch, and we haven't kissed yet, my excuse has been that I don't want to make any wrong moves and mess up our relationship, but my girlfriend has actually given me a few clear signals every time that she might want to do a tiny bit more than just cuddle on the couch. She's a beautiful girl, and I love her in every sense of the word, but... I'm just... really... averted? to sex. Talking about it weirds me out, if someone asked I would feel really cornered (I have not been asked, this is just my brain saying what it would do if it did,) but even though I am not really that firm a believer in the "no sex before marriage" rule, I feel really, really nervous thinking about engaging in any kind of intercourse for as far ahead as I can see. Not saying that I am not interested in feeling that kind of stimulation, I'm just saying that I feel really nervous about doing anything with someone else. So basically the reason I feel like a contradictory statement is because I feel really nervous when it comes to doing the dirty with anyone, yet I would be lying if I said I felt averse to experiencing stuff like that. (My brain is coming up with way too many ways to avoid talking about sex directly why am I so embarrassed about this it would almost be funny if it weren't so unfomfortable)
Hey Teenage Dilemna, There is NO right answer to the basic questions you are asking. IF she LOVES you as much as you LOVE her, the 'best', 'right' answer is that you respect each other's wishes. If you ONLY want to be that much more intimate AFTER marriage, then that is totally your right and if she respects and loves you, she will accept that, regardless of her own ideas (assuming that they differ from yours). Never feel pressured into anything other than open communication about your feelings for her. Honestly, if she doesn't respect your feelings that way, then she probably isn't 'the one' for you. I guess what I'm saying is that why would you 'sell' yourself out (in terms of your morals and beliefs) 'just' to be with someone. At the same time, though, I want to make it clear that any long-term relationship has to be a two-way street. So, even if you don't agree with some of her concerns/interests/values/etc, you still have to try to bend your own 'personal rules' towards some type of compromise in order to create an equal relationship. If you or she can't ultimately 'bend' enough to make a comfortable compromise relationship that benefits both of you, then it's probably not meant to be. Just my 2cents.
