Thanks to advice from the people on EC I feel like I'm getting closer to an answer on my sexuality but something keeps nagging on my mind and I feel like venting and receiving feedback may clear it up. Basically, after previous posts on here I've come to the conclusion that I could be gay, however what makes me keep doubting is the fact that seeing a guys abs doesn't "arouse" me per se. I acknowledge that they are good looking but I don't get a lustful "omg I want" feeling. However I do get that feeling when I fantasise about guys and when I masturbate I always imagine a guy. I frequently picture myself in a relationship with a man. It's just that seeing a picture of (for example) a renowned hot male celebrity or toned abs it doesn't give me that feeling of desire if that makes sense. However that feeling of desire is present when I think of guys in general like relationship wise, cuddling and so on. Just to add I feel very little attraction to women sexually and romantically. I'm pretty sure that I'm not asexual because the idea of sex with a guy is interesting to me and I fantasise a lot about it. This may be a bit graphic but I often imagine giving a blowjob to a guy and what it would be like and I fantasise about bottoming and topping. From what I can tell, asexuality means little to no interest in sex and low sexual attraction. (please correct me if I'm wrong) so I don't think i identity as that. So yeah basically I just wanna know if it's normal for a gay person to not get turned on by another persons abs. I think where I am right now is I get aroused by the thought of being with another guy and all the things I listed earlier, but I just can't make sense of it. This could range from internalised homophobia, low libido or anything which may be interfering with my attraction. I think what I keep mentally saying to myself is "oh you're not turned on by this muscly guy with a six pack, you can't be gay" which creates the whole questioning loop thing. Making me feel nervous/ anxious and sad at the same time. It's been suggested that those emotions stem from the internal homophobia which is preventing me from seeing how I really feel. If anyone can offer any input it would be much appreciated
Sf98...Hi! Not getting turned-on by a guy's abs is not a big deal. Everybody tends to look at people that they are interested in different ways. Some are butt admirers, some are package admirers, some really like tall guys or short guys or blond guys or big. brown eyes. Funny as it may sound, a guy in skinny jeans that are tight enough around his calf to show the curve can really get to me! And some people are far more excited by the personality of a guy than by any part of their looks! It really means nothing if abs are not your thing. What attracts you to a person is what is important. Look for that and it won't be long before you will know for sure what your sexuality really is....David
I'm not sure why you think that abs are the "marker" for gay desires. Those specific details are about preferences - and everyone has their own. Think of it this way: among heterosexual men, some like a woman's breasts more, some her booty, some her legs, etc. What turns on one guy isn't the same for others. So, if that makes sense to you, why wouldn't it be the same for gay people? Some are turned on abs, others turned on with other areas of the body. Some gay men like hairy guys, some like smooth. There are all kinds of differences in the human body, and what turns on some is a turn off to others. The most important part of your thread, however, is that you fantasize about men, you picture yourself in a relationship with a man, you picture yourself having sex with men. Those are clear indicators of you being gay. Take care. ride:
