First, I would want to say that yes, I know it's wierd to have such a complicated "sexuality" at age 14. My sexual orientation: I have no experience sexually with either gender, however, when I started masturbating (I was 12), I would look at the hot girl. I would sometimes just google "hot girl" or similar. However, I would almost solely watch straight porn. I find lesbian porn hot, but also a little boring, like it could never be satisfying enough without a penis. I feel like sexually I'm a straight guy, but not in any other aspect of life at all. Although the thought of being penetrated turns me on. I am not trans. I could be suffering from the whole: "how can you have sex without a penis?"-thing that we are fed up with by society though. I don't want to have a girlfriend but rely on a male lover -I'm monogamous. I would first identify as straight, but feeling attraction to girls only. Then bi, but "I only have a girl-fetish" kind of bi. Then bi. Then lesbian. But when I started identifying as a lesbian, I would start feeling attraction to guys mostly. I have OCD and I feel like my thoughts are going against me. Romantically I'm almost only into girls and I can't imagine being married to a guy. I can't imagine living a life with a guy or having a long-term relationship with one. Guys are either sexual objects or friends to me, there's no in between. I want to fit into a box, and I actually want to be a lesbian. I want to embrace my attraction to girls and have my "penis-fetish" dissapear. Being a lesbian feels natural, correct, right, real. However, maybe I'm bisexual and homoromantic? I've also read/heard a lot of "lesbians don't exist" (Milo Yiannopolous, for example) and although I feel like I'm a lesbian, maybe he's right? Maybe sex without a penis is fake sex and not satisfying? Maybe women are bisexual? I would never classify myself as a bisexual though. Not that I feel like it isn't valid or anything, I just want to be clear on myself. I'M CONFUSED!!!
This says lesbian. Some purists may argue. I claim that's perfectly reasonable. I claim (fwiw) to be bisexual and heteroromantic. (I.e. my penis-fetish didn't disappear. ;-) Now there are some smart people who claim you can't split romantic and sexual apart. But it works for me. You're being very balanced in getting viewpoints... but ignore his.
I identify as asexual. I have had sex with women and it was OK (think it's an issue in my head regarding trust etc) I could never have sex with a guy. Lesbians do exist and can penetrate each other with tongues, fingers and toys. And I recently read somewhere that lesbians tend to have the highest level of satisfaction. I am sure you will find some answers on the site. You will definitely find plenty of support.
