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Questioning if I'm pansexual

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Rdougall1, Mar 14, 2017.

  1. Rdougall1

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    Hi there,

    I just had one quick question for pansexuals that would help me clear up some doubts that I have about my sexuality. Ever since I was in middle school, I always enjoyed looking at guys in the locker room and I had loads of crushes on guys all throughout middle school. However, I also have a disability which made it harder for me to be accepted. I have always believed that it is not what car you drive, how you look, or who you are, as long as you are a good person, you will be successful in life.

    This is where it gets confusing. I have been dating my boyfriend since last May. Initially, I didn't feel any sexual attraction toward him but I find that as time goes on, I find him more and more attractive. However, I only experienced this with a guy and when I tried dating a girl in high school, it felt...empty for lack of better word. I feel like I'm still gay but there is this personality thing that I'm still trying to figure out. Thank you for reading this.
     
  2. rainyday

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    Are you asking about whether or not you gave yourself "enough time" to like girls? Like if you had more time/had the right person, you might have been able to develop a sexual attraction to a girl? I'm not pan sexual, but this question has bothered me, too, and I'd be interested in what other people have to say about it. I did make myself have a crush on this one guy-- I'm convinced I did love him-- but through out it I never wanted to kiss or have sex with him, nor could I imagine it happening.
    Although sorry if that's not what you're asking :slight_smile:
     
  3. Rdougall1

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    This is exactly what I'm asking. Again, I'm pretty sure I'm gay but there is this part of me that I still want to figure out.
     
  4. Athexant

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    Hey, everyone! I'm bi/pan, so hopefully, I can shed some insight onto this.

    Sexuality is very fluid for some and very static for others. It depends on a variety of factors. It's kind of uncommon, but certainly not impossible, for someone who identifies as gay having feelings for someone of the opposite sex after being in a relationship for a long period of time. You could be homoflexible, which is characterized by primarily same-sex attraction however sometimes being attracted to the right person of the opposite sex.

    Bisexuality itself is a huge gray area. Some people feel 60-40 attraction, some 50-50, it's very dependent on the individual. My advice to you, is if you have experienced almost all same-sex attraction throughout your life, chances are, it will be difficult to experience opposite-sex attraction. Not impossible, just difficult. Identify however you wish to identify because that's up to you. Honestly, listen to your desires because they're there for a reason.

    Hope this helped!