Hello, I feel very nervous writing this I'm not sure why. I would love some help. I'm questioning if I am bisexual, or maybe just a lesbian. I'm 21 and haven't had any relationship experiences really. I was kinda dating this one guy for a couple months but we never kissed or even held hands. I was under the impression that I liked him though, but I pulled away when he wanted to get more serious. I have a lot of self esteem issues so this could be because it felt weird to be liked by someone. I've had a lot of crushes on guys, and when I daydream it's usually about guys but I have found girls attractive before, however I've never had a full blown crush on a girl. To be maybe too personal whenever I masturbate I think about girls, never guys, or watch lesbian porn and I feel a lot of shame about that. I grew up religious so I can't talk about this to my mom, who I tell mostly everything else to. If I was a lesbian I don't think she would stop loving me, or kick me out, but I know there would be disappointment, and maybe disgust. After years I've gotten to a point where I can think about this without feeling completely depressed, but I'm still so scared. I'm just a very anxious person, and I'm scared that people will disapprove of me if I was anything but straight. I've thought about all of this a lot. The fact that I haven't had any boyfriends makes me feel more pressured because when a guy shows some interest (rarely) I don't know if I like him because I want to prove that I'm not gay, or because I actually like him. Please help any advice would be nice!
This is what we (i.e. EC) consider the most telling point. Def not TMI, thanks for telling. How else could we give advice? You're at least bi. Maybe lesbian with a few exceptions here and there. Yeah, I'm sure you recognize that (in principle) that it's OK, but it's hard to shake that old time religion. But what causes the most pain in this world? (Besides stubbing your toe, etc.) Keeping a secret you want to tell. Of course you are depressive and anxious. There's an identifiable cause: other peoples' thoughts, and your thoughts about them. You need to find a supportive group. OK you found one here, but maybe in your locale too. LGBT groups, GSA (if you're in school), or even... (gasp) Mom. I hope other people who were/are more in your shoes can speak up and help too. You sound like you know yourself pretty well... we just want to get more other people to know and accept you. Good luck!
Hello I am some old straight guy. My wife is bisexual. She is complicated. She was horribly extra repressed, to the point of being forced to forget things. Really weird stuff. Anyway, she's out as bisexual now, for 25 years now. People have often said she's actually a lesbian, and she refuses that. She is bisexual. TMI. When she masturbates she thinks about both boys and girls, differently, but both. Sometimes just guys, and sometimes just girls, but her thing is threesomes most of the time. She thinks you're a lesbian. Beautiful and wonderful, and definitely delicious. Mary is pretty edge. But that's her opinion. Be well
Thank you for your advice! You're right, I know a lot of these things logically and objectively, but not. . . emotionally if that makes sense. I appreciate you replying to me
I'm glad your wife was able to work through it. You both sound like awesome people. Please tell her thanks for me. Her comment made me smile. And thank you for your advice!
Mary says thank you! And she's glad you didn't get upset, and she laughs, and says Good Luck! Yes, it took us 18 years to get through it, but once she realized what she had repressed she has been so much happier. She's 61 years old, and says she's never going to grow up.
