Hi everyone, I am so confused again. A few years ago I posted that I was Gay, but now I really don't know. After having sex with some guys I am not sure if I am Gay or Bisexual (I am not straight this I know), I am even considering myself as asexual. I told to a friend that I was gay, but to be honest I don't know.... Am I in denial again ? I did not accept myself ? Owww my god I wish I could answer this question that has been hunting me for over 30 years!! I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say .. Sometimes I still think I can get married with a woman and having kids. I am pretty sure I am gonna die alone
For me, answering this at 25 took a lot of self reflection and thinking. The signs were there from age 11-12 ish but being raised in the environment i was, i just labelled what always were instinctual desires as inappropriate and rude and repressed them quite badly for years. It took a few years of questioning, lots of being ashamed of checking out girls in passing while questioning, and a few weeks on here before i was able to feel 100% sure in identifying myself as gay. This is something we can help you wish but can't answer for you. Just in passing, do you notice men and women? When you masturbate, is it different when you think of a man versus a woman - easier, better, etc? I would start with questions like these. That's what i started with, at least.
Sometimes I also think I could get married with a man and have kids, too. But I don't think that's what I really want, I feel like I'm try to push myself to see if there's any possible way I could still be attracted to men. I'm not sure what started you questioning again, but I know everytime I think about telling someone and coming out I question myself more. I came out to two friends and immediately felt awful and like it was a mistake. But they're lbgt too, and talking with them made my sexuality feel more real over time. So you could try finding other lbgt people to talk to? I'm not sure how your sex went with the guys you hooked up with, but if they went bad or blah I think having a bad or disappointing encounters is normal for everyone regardless of sexuality. Some people do need more emotional connection for sex, some people need the right mood, the right kind of person, etc. Being in the closet could also add stress that makes it hard. You said you feel like you're going to die alone, I can relate to that haha. I regularly go back and forth on my sexuality, especially since I've only been questioning it this last year. Whenever I swing back to thinking "maybe I'm Bi, surely I can be with a man" I start getting the thoughts of being alone forever. It doesn't sound logical really, does it? Like if I was really bi I should be happy about dating men or women. But really in my heart I only want to date, love, and marry women. Maybe it is a similar situation for you? I hope this was helpful!
OMG I can relate with that, I told to a friend who is Gay, but after I told him I felt like, OMG am I 100% sure ?? An Friday I was talking to him, and I said to him that I am not 100% sure. My sexual experiences where all BLAH Never crossed my mind get married with a guy. It might be because that I was thought that way ?? I don't know ! But something that I always thought was to find a women who I like to get married, and now I am even thinking about kids !!! I have no idea what I should do. Maybe I need to have some emotional connection, but the problem is when I have I only see as friendship and I do not have Sexual desire !! The only think that I know is that all my life I only masturbate thinking about men, but I always thought being romantic with women !! :bang::bang::bang: Thx you helped me a lot !!
