Had my first kiss with a girl and didn't like it very much, am i really gay?

So I have identified as bi for about a year and more recently changed my label to pansexual, but ive never been sure about my sexuality. There is this girl Kathy who ive been friends with for over a year, we're in the same friend group. shes a senior and im a sophomore. last semester she found out i liked girls and told me she would have asked me out before we became friends, and that is when i first started liking her. the week after that she hooked up with this guy at a party and they proceeded to date for the next four months, all the while i have a huge crush on her. they broke up about three weeks ago and since then she asked me out and we went on one date. we had planned to go on another but a couple days before it she told me she still had feelings for her ex. then the next morning i woke up to texts from her saying she still wants to give it a try with me, just to take it slow. we're all in theatre and we're doing Beauty and the Beast and the cast party was last night. we cuddled a lot during it, i was sober but she got pretty drunk. at one point we were cuddling and all our friends had left us alone and she said she wanted to kiss me but she wanted to remember it. i said i wanted to kiss her too but it was ok if she wanted to wait. then a minute later she was like idc anymore i really want to kiss you. so then we kissed for a minute, my first real kiss apart from a peck my friend gave me. it was not at all what i expected, i dont think i was very good, my teeth kept getting caught on her lips, she has kind of big lips. i didnt really enjoy it all that much, it was very disorienting, i didnt like not being able to see what i was doing. i stopped bc our friends were coming in from getting more drinks and i didnt want them to see, bc thats weird, she said she was really happy and she really liked me, then she got up and went to go pee. i went inside and sat and hung out with my other friends for the rest of the party. i felt kind of shakey and kind of like i wanted to cry for some reason, and later when people started leaving she wanted to say bye to me and i felt kind of uncomfortable hugging her and kissing her again, just pecks this time, especially with our friends all around us. i dont know why i didnt like kissing her, maybe it was because she was drunk??

after she left i pulled my other friend katie and cried and told her everything and she was really sweet about it, but i still wasnt sure.

the whole reason i posted this is because i want to know whether first kisses are always gross or if ive been faking being gay this whole time, because ive never been good at identifying my feelings and ive always had so much doubt about my sexuality; some days i think i might be straight, some days i think i might be a lesbian.

please help if youve had a similar experience?? thank you!