I've been questioning whether or not I'm bisexual for a while now and I'm confused over one key aspect of it. As I have no experience with any gender most of my exploration has been through my own fantasies. I enjoy fantasying about women a lot and do it quite often, probably about as much as with men, but am not sure if that would transfer into real life as well. My question for everyone who does not experience attraction to women is how does it feel when you imagine having any sort of sexual experience with a woman? Could it still turn you on, does it disgust you? Are fantasies even an indicator of sexual orientation? Thank you so much in advance! I am so confused
If it's described in like some sexual context (like in a rap song or something) I might get mildly aroused, but I personally find vaginas repulsive. The woman herself doesn't get me around, but if it's some kind of senual situation has me like ooooooooooooo
I can tell if a woman is attractive in the same way I can tell if a flower looks beautiful. It looks lovely but I don't want to have sex with it. In fact I probably find flowers more arousing. At least I'll feel flattered if a man hands me a bunch of flowers. I feel comfortable with a man's body against me, but being close to a woman's body makes me feel uncomfortable. And I hate getting grazed by a woman's boob. you know how some women have big tits and they brush against you as they walk past - it makes my skin crawl. Like touching a spider or a slug. Not that I think all women look like repulsive creatures, but the thought of being intimate with a woman repulses me. My body and mind are not programmed for that experience.
I have fantasised a fair bit about women, but it doesn't turn me on. I think I'm just curious about what it could be like to be with a woman, without actually feeling an attraction or aroused. I'm not generally disgusted but it's more like "meh" and does nothing for me. But for me, I have a lot of different fantasies and most of them I don't want to try in real life, cause that wouldn't be the same for me. I like challenging myself with different fantasies, and it could be like that with my fantasies about women as well. I haven't for quite a while now though, it kinda bores me, so I stick to men in my mind as well as real life.
When my wife finally got past her brainwashing and remembered who she is she remembered fantasizing about women. When, very soon after that, she got the chance to act on her desire she absolutely loved it. Mary loves women, and she loves making love to women. Her fantasy was exactly what she wanted, even needed.
Speaking solely for me (obviously)... In fantasizing about women, there's no real negative reaction. It's more a lack of positive reaction, if that makes any sense. I spent my teen years assuming I was straight. There was no disgust or anything when I thought about having sex with women, and hey - sex! Awesome! So I just assumed that was how it was with everybody. If I saw naked women in a porn-like setting, my brain would go "oh, that's what I'd be having sex with", so I'd get aroused...but not because of the woman HERSELF. It was a rather desultory sort of arousal. I didn't understand why all my friends would go so gaga over a woman with a curvy body or a big chest, but I just assumed that they were just a bit more horned up than I was. My reaction literally was something along the lines of "Yeah, I'd hit that". As in "Sure, I guess if I was going to go have sex with somebody, they'd be fine for that." Once I started looking at guys sexually, I realized there had been this component missing. I no longer just wanted to have sex. I wanted to have sex WITH HIM. The guys I would found arousing no longer just seemed like convenient would-be partners but somebody (or something?) that I actively wanted to get physical with. And that has sort of remained how I've been to this day. Lex
