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Pan or Ace?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by FracturedWings, Mar 20, 2017.

  1. I've been identifying as bisexual for some time; I find all genders arousing (I just prefer bi to pan, but effectively I am pansexual). However the idea of sex completely repulses me. Anything at all--regardless of gender. I don't mind sexual themed activities, but I don't like skin to skin contact, and in fantasy I always stay clothed. Even things like hugs and kisses are gross to me; I've built up some tolerance but I always have to shower and brush my teeth after a kiss or extended period of time snuggling.

    I identify aromantic, but I've been toying with asexuality for a while.

    I'm attracted to people sexually, but I don't want to actually have sex.

    Thoughts?
     
  2. darkcomesoon

    Full Member

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    If you're attracted to people, you're probably not asexual. The fact that you have to shower and brush your teeth after kissing or snuggling actually makes me think you might have anxiety issues (or something similar) around germs, dirtiness, or physical contact. Do you ever have similar feelings of repulsion in non-sexual/non-romantic situations where there is physical contact or any other activity that makes you feel the urge to clean yourself after? (Note: I'm definitely not an expert on any of this; I just think that what you described is somewhat atypical, even for someone who is sex-repulsed).
     
  3. I've considered the possibility of germaphobia as well as haphephobia (fear of human touch) but I don't mind dirt and things; I'm mildly paranoid about bacteria and things like that but that's from working with bacteria in science labs and doesn't really pertain to things outside of a lab setting like when I'm eating and things like that.

    I don't dislike hand holding and cuddling, I like hugs and sitting in people's laps actually, but afterwards my skin crawls and I get really anxious. I also can't stand bodily fluids; I can't french or kiss for longer than a couple seconds because I pull away and wipe my face if their saliva makes contact with my skin.

    But like, skin to skin contact generally has to be limited to my hands; elsewhere makes my skin crawl.
     
  4. actualdust

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    I experience similar feelings, for me it's a fear of intimacy and sex repulsion from trauma though, I know I'm not ace/aro from past experience. I think that you probably arent ace if you can experience sexual attraction, but you know yourself best. It sounds like you may have sex repulsion like me and there are many possible causes of that like trauma, anxiety etc.
     
  5. Interesting; I haven't met anyone with sex repulsion outside of the ace or aro spectrums before. I don't have trauma, but anxiety sounds like it might be a thing.