1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How come it's so hard for me to think of sex?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Jon99, Mar 20, 2017.

  1. Jon99

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2017
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Salem, Oregon
    Like when I'm masturbating withought porn, the thing that arouses me the most thinking of sex with either gender is just sort of holding them close to me,very rarely do I actually think of having sex with them. Why is this do you think? Do I just have a low sex drive? Are low sex drives common for males my age (19)? Does my anxiety have something to do with it? Also it has to be with a person that I got to know on a personal level, or someone I spent a lot of time with.
     
  2. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Anxiety is very highly correlated with decreased sex drive. And there's nothing wrong with being aroused by holding someone close. Sexual arousal is a complex interaction of emotional, physical and biochemical processes. In your case, it's very possible that the emotional connection you experience when you are with someone you know and care about fuels a strong sense of bonding, which can lead to sexual arousal.

    Somebody might show up and argue that what you describe fits some unrecognized identity that somebody-or-another has dreamed up, but the reality is, what you're describing fits perfectly within the ordinary spectrum of normal sexual behavior in the homosexual, bisexual, or heterosexual spectrums.

    My guess is that when you are able to get the anxiety under control, you'll find that with that out of the way, you are able to cultivate a deeper sense of connection that may be wider ranging than what you're currently experiencing.