Hi, I'm 16, I really need an advice from someone and I don't know who to talk with.... I have been straight my whole life but I've also my whole life had a small inside voice which asked: "what if you're attracted to women?" I always ignored it and thought it was silly of me to question myself that and since then I've fell in love until my breakup with my ex (we've been together for a year+ and we had sex). It's been a year since the breakup and I got over him a long time ago but since then I've had flings and boyfriends and every time we meet up/are about to have sex I change my mind and don't feel attracted at all. I used to think that it's normal and I'll meet "the one", but lately I've started to get those inside voices again: "what if I'm attracted to girls?" I'm really confused and I don't think I'll have a problem to kiss with a girl but I don't know if I'm a lesbian/bisexual/straight who has just not found "the one"... I'm starting to get depressed and I really want to find out what am I and I was wandering if you have any advice....(you are the first person that I'm sharing this with).
Well you're in the right place Mimi! We can't tell you what you are for you but personally, i found this place to be very helpful. Helped me ask the right questions and such. Now i'm a virgin so i can't help you when it comes to the fact you've already had sex with a guy. What i can say is this. Well first, a wuestion - do you masturbate? Its embarrasing, i imagine, to admit but i found it to be a good starting place. Cause porn is helpful but not reliable as an indicator. But masturbating all by yourself, which do you find more pleasing, which is easier for you - to imagine yourself with a guy or a girl? WIth me, i started checking out girls as young as 11-12 but i repressed it. I thought i was being rude and inappropriate. I was in middle school, and i ended up convincing myself my instinctual, natural thoughts and reactions were inappropriate and repressed them. But my guy crushes were telling - they were always very pretty, effeminate guys. Looking back, these two things were a major indicator. Three, really - with my guy crushes i could never imagine anything more with them. I just liked to look at them, i never found the idea of seeing them naked - or half naked, etc - appealing much less the idea of doing anything with them.
