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I'm gay and having difficulty accepting myself.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by PlantSoul, Mar 27, 2017.

  1. PlantSoul

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    I recently came to realise that I'm actually gay and I've been having difficulty accepting it. Everything is making sense to me now. Things are coming together. I've told myself that had I been born a male, I would've been straight. That's my answer right there and yet I'm still having difficulty. On one hand, the severe stress I was under and my depression is gone. On the other, I'm having a mix of new emotions. I feel lighter in knowing but, there's also disbelief and somehow, a feeling of incompleteness. Like, is this really it? That I'm gay? I don't want to drag to this out but, there's a part of me that wants to. I know that it isn't healthy. I've actually caught myself twice considering pretending I'm not gay. I don't want to go back into being in denial. How can I come to terms with this? Thanks.
     
  2. AnAtypicalGuy

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    It might help you to realise that it's completely normal to be gay, or any sexuality for that matter. Once you accept this, you'll remove any reason to raise a fuss and deny your true self. I don't know what kind of an environment you live in, but if you can it may help to speak to anybody you know who isn't straight. See how normal they are, and how they're just like everyone else. If you don't know anyone in person then try looking online in LGBTQ spaces, such as EC, in order to talk to similar people.
     
  3. silverhalo

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    Hey try not to be too hard on yourself. Sexuality in theory can look easy but sometimes even when the answer is right in front of your face it is not always easy to see and understand.
    I am assuming you are not out to anyone? Can you say outloud I am gay?
    What do you think is the hardest thing, do you think you just dont want to be gay or you are scared to be gay?

    You will get there and everyone here will help you :slight_smile:
     
  4. AriKari

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    I relate with this a lot. I still hesitate when saying 'that word' out loud. I'm fine with being gay, I like it. I have a confidence issue and it's stopping me from doing the things I want. Hopefully we'll both find peace with this, sooner rather than later.
     
  5. WeDreamOfPeace

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    Both your sexuality and what you're experiencing now is perfectly normal. You'll get past this - stay awesome, because you are awesome! Don't forget it.

    Being gay is just as cool as being straight. You can be as badass/fabulous as every human being out there.

    Peace & Blessings.
     
  6. PlantSoul

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    Thank you. I've come out to an aunt and in the process with two of my closest friends. I've said it aloud albeit, very quietly. Being able to successfully come out to my aunt has really help to solidify the truth. I think that a large part of my problem was that I was still in shock. I think it was mainly that I didn't want to be gay. A large part of my life has been in lying to myself and internalized homophobia.

    ---------- Post added 29th Mar 2017 at 01:42 AM ----------

    I hope so. I already feel more peaceable in being able to talk about it and reading up on the community more.

    ---------- Post added 29th Mar 2017 at 01:44 AM ----------

    Thank you.

    ---------- Post added 29th Mar 2017 at 01:55 AM ----------

    I'm not in the best environment right now. Online is pretty much the safest/only thing I can do. I have managed to tell three people whom I trust. My mind is opening. Knowing that there are people in my life who support me and who I can come to, has made it a lot easier to accept this. Plus, I've been doing some research and looking to my idols. I feel less alone.
     
  7. silverhalo

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    Im not sure many people want to be gay so you are definitely not alone there. Saying it outloud even if its at a whisper as silly as it sounds can actually help you get used to it. Do you allow yourself to be gay? I know that can sound strange but letting yourself admire girls (not in a pervy way) and telling yourself that its ok to think gay thoughts can often help overtime for you to feel better especially if you have some internalised homophobia.
     
  8. beenthrdonetht

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    That's very telling.

    Ditto.

    Not like your problems are gone. But these two things you said make it clear you are going in the right direction. Stay the course!
     
  9. PlantSoul

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    Thanks, man. :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 2nd Apr 2017 at 01:07 AM ----------

    I've definitely been allowing myself to acknowledge when I'm having a gay thought. Before, I'd try to not think too much into it. I'd let it come and then go on about whatever. I'd say it's a huge improvement. I can feel good about it now, if that makes sense.

    I've come out to one other person since I last posted, and I immediately felt better. Be able to come out again, made this my reality more tangible. It has really helped me. I still do have some problems that I worry about telling my straight relations about. I've begun to think that when thinking about gay people, the main thing that comes to their minds are the sexual acts we are known to engage in. I think I'm still insecure. I'm definitely still worried about what other people think.
     
  10. silverhalo

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    I think it is only natural to worry when everything is new, the more people you are out to and the more people are accepting the better it will get. Are there any LGBT meet up groups near you maybe that would help you make some LGBT friends. Being on EC and just chatting to people will help you feel more comfortable talking about gay stuff as well.