I've recently started to come out/express being a lesbian rather than my previous identities (bisexual, asexual, pansexual). However I'm worried if that's the correct label? I am, without a doubt, only interested in females. At this point, the idea of having a relationship with a man just seems, unnatural and forced. Even the male celebrities I used to think where "hot/sexy" are now just cute? I can appreciate them and I think they're aesthetically pleasing, but there's no real attraction there. This is where, however, that I feel conflicted. I have been with men in the past, and occasionally still find guys cute. There are times (although fleeting) that a guy will pass by me and I'll have a little "well damn" moment. However, when I actually think about the idea of being in a relationship with that guy, or kissing/etc, I find it disgusting and immediately dispel the idea. (Its kind of like seeing sparkly slime and going "ooh pretty" and then touching it and it feeling, well, slimey, and being grossed out) So while I don't really care about the identity label police, I'm worried that I'm not 'gay enough' to be lesbian-does this make sense? Is there anyone else on here who feels similar to me and who can pitch in? thank you!!
In all honesty, this doesn't sound like actual attraction to men. It's basically what straight women feel for other women (recognizing they are attractive but turned-off by sexual contact). I wouldn't worry about "not being a lesbian". If you were bisexual, you would like the idea of kissing and sex with men.
Even then, I don't think the kinsey scale would work here. I personally believe you can be a kinsey 6 and still think the opposite sex is "good looking", It's just that you're completely close-minded about dating them/sleeping with them. Kinsey 5's would sleep with or date the opposite sex, but only in rare situations such as "I'm horny and the same-sex isn't around" or "I normally feel gay but I'd date this guy since he's an exception". A 6 would rather die celibate and sexually frustrated than ever touch the opposite sex. It's similar to how a lot of people think their siblings or little kids are good looking, but aren't incestuous or pedophiles. Sexuality runs deeper than that.
No. I know what you mean. And my straight friends can do the same thing with girls. Looking at a man and knowing he's attractive in no way means you want to sleep with him, kiss him, date him or anything else. But we also can see, you know? Just like my straight friend has said before "I wouldn't date her but she's incredibly gorgeous" she can recognize that the person is very attractive, but not attractive in a way that she could act on for her personally. I have so many gay friends that say the same thing.
most heterosexuals, homosexuals find both genders aesthetically attractive and can even have sex with both genders. But the issue with sexual orientation is not to find the boundaries of your body and mind limitations, but more what do you find enjoyable in the long run (more than 1 day).
