I know that there is no doubt that I am gay, that is not what I am having trouble with. Every time I try to start branching out, a feeling of guilt that my sexuality is wrong always comes over me, and I can never move forward. I want some advice on how I can finally accept who I am and finally be happier. I have started talking to a guy that I really like and I don't want to ruin it because of the guilt that I have. This guy seems like he would really be good for me, and I don't want to lose him. I admit that I quit talking to him for 2 weeks because I felt what I was doing is wrong and that I really wasn't meant to be this way, even though there is nothing I can do to change it. After doing tons of reading on EC, it really helped me to understand that I couldn't change who I am, and that helped me tremendously. After reading on EC, I messaged him back and apologized for ignoring him and not speaking with him. I explained to him why I did that, and fortunately he completely understood and gave me a second chance like nothing had happened. How can I accept my sexuality, and be comfortable with it? Also, what experiences have people had with displaying their sexuality publicly? I really would like to take this guy out on a date (This would be my first). I feel that talking to someone who has gone through similar experiences would also help me with accepting myself as who I am. I appreciate any advice or help that anyone could give.
First being in here is a great step it truly helps everyone . Secondly , accepting your sexuality is not jus simple it is personal , what helped me is I told a few friends and once saw no issues it just became more natural . You are human and seek human interaction and just don't worry who it is with gender wise . I say meet your friend for a drink or coffee and not at a gay bar just any bar be normal or will work out. Good luck
I told a friend who I knew was also lgbt and that helped a lot (not immediately, the day of I was panicked), as did talking to an lgbt friendly Psychiatrist. Another thing I've been trying to do is change the way I think when I think about my sexuality. Like when I have negative thoughts instead of listening to them I block them out as soon as they appear, and try to have positive thoughts (I love loving women, wow she's so pretty, it would be nice to cuddle and sleep with a girl, when I get a girlfriend it would be fantastic to do X, etc.). I think it's been helping. One thing I've also seen recommended is seeking out books/tv shows/movies that positively show lgbt characters and have happy endings. I wish there was an easy way to immediately become comfortable with your sexuality... It seems like a bit of a gradual process.
I know this is cliche but "practice makes things better, and so does time" For me, I can get nervous about others knowing about my sexuality, but people usually turn out better than I expect. I used to feel daunted by the fact that coming out and accepting oneself is pretty much a never ending process, but it gets easier each time when doing it. I got to become more comfortable after surrounding myself with affirmation and optimism from others. This can be tough to find in daily life, but the internet is magical place. It's nice to see LGBT you tubers out there making great content: I love the ASAPScience and ASAPthought channels!
I've allowed myself to confide in lots of my friends that I'm attracted to women. It's a secret that I just could not stand to keep in for any longer. And every single one of my friends and family members has been 100% accepting. My husband...well, that's another story. And rightly so. He is very upset by it. But, the point is, I've realized it a lot harder to accept ourselves. There is no 'normal'. Our vulnerabilities and frailties as humans are what make us special and give us connections to each other. I really like that you told him why you didn't contact him for a while. And he accepted that and was willing to try again.. Sounds like a good start to something positive.
