For the time being I am considering myself pan mainly because of my overall philosophy on love. I believe that when someone enters a relationship, what really matters is that the members of the relationship enjoy the company of each other. Regardless, I want to show my non-straight attribute and I want to be able to be able to express that identity. I feel that I would be better connected with myself once I can really communicate and define my romantic and sexual interests. I had a similar issue with how my ethnicity differs from my citizenship. When I became comfortable with knowing myself as an American with a non-American ethnic background, it helped me be more comfortable with who I am. For my interests, I have no preference for gender. If I were to be in a relationship, the person's gender is not really something that would be an issue for me. Additionally, I am attracted to both sexes. I am attracted to both male and female parts. What gets tricky, however, is my preference on gender expression. I am attracted to feminine guys, but not masculine guys. On the flip side, I am attracted to moderately feminine women to masculine women, but I do not like excessive femininity. For now, I will label myself as a pansexual male, because I met a guy who had the EXACT SAME preferences as I do, and I thought, "Ehh, that's good enough". I have recently given some thought to the label polysexual, because I have some limiting factors in gender expression. If anyone stumbles upon this thread, I would really appreciate it if I could get some help and advice. I really want to come out in college because that may be the only place where I can truly spread my wings.
What do you want help with exactly? The coming out in college bit? Or are you okay with that but unsure of how to call it when you come out?
Now that I think about it, I would like help in defining myself and coming out in college. I don't think I should act on the assumption that I can "wing" it.
Sorry, I am still new to EC's forum format. I meant to reply to you but I instead replied to myself I think. I would like help in knowing what to call myself and knowing how to come out in college.
Hey hammerhead4150, The Coming Out in college issue can be pretty easy. You could just join/attend a Gay-Straight Alliance/LGBTQ club at your school. You could also, just casually mention it to fellow students if/when the subject of dating/sexuality comes up in conversations. Probably one of the most pro-active, but simplest ways to Come Out at college is to wear LGBTQ Pride attire/jewelry such as items with the rainbow flag (you could even put a rainbow flag on your backpack, if you have one that you will use for carrying your books, laptop, or other materials around campus). Wearing a rainbow wristband would be pretty easy (you can buy them online, including on Amazon). Just some ideas/suggestions. In terms of identifying your sexuality. Unfortunately, that is a journey that you have to make for yourself. To me, the most important thing is that you understand and accept your sexuality for yourself. Putting a specific label on it is generally only useful if/when you feel it necessary to identify your sexuality to others, in my opinion. If you decide to adopt a label, then that’s just fine. If you later decide that the label you chose isn’t accurate and want to change it, that’s just fine, too. If you just want to tell people something along the lines of “I’m not straight” and leave it at that, that’s cool too. It’s totally up to you and, frankly, your sexuality is noone’s business but your own (and, of course, your romantic and sexual partner’s). I hope some of that helps.
