I just created a thread about my sexual orientation a few days ago, but I'm still confused. I don't know if I'll get the answers that I need (or want?). I just hope I won't feel as uncomfortable with my situation as I am right now. I disappeared months or weeks ago since I just got used to calling myself bisexual. That's when things started to get weird. Just a little background: I had fallen in love with a girl my age in my preteens and I used to brush it off as just strong friendship, but with the desire to kiss and marry her I just accepted those feelings for what they really were. As I grew older, I met other women. Some of them wanted to be my girlfriend or just hook up with me. Others never aknowledged my presence, no matter what I did. I had very few moments that I actually stared stranger ladies and thought about having a sexual experience with them. Since I always had show how much I thought many guys were hot to me and even had sexual fantasies with men, my only explanation was that I was bisexual. Okay, so once I got comfortable with this label, I just noticed myself how rare it was for me to fantasize about a girl during my "private moments" and very often men appeared in my mind. It happened anytime and not just when I was by myself. I'd imagine myself kissing guys and doing other stuff too the whole day. How often those fantasies keep coming up doesn't disturb or bother me. It's just the fact that there's only men in my mind all the time. To make things more complicated, I never falled in love with any guy or felt any real desire for intercourse with the opposite sex, never. I believe that I might not feel much for the boys that I met in my life because I had many bad experiences with them and it made me almost completelly unavaliable to them while I was open to a homosexual relationship. Yet, I don't understand how my attraction women almost faded away. I heard some gay guys go through this phase and it makes me wonder if I'm only trying to get a girlfriend because I don't believe a man will be able to love me. I don't k now what to do. Is there any possibility that I might be faking my attraction to women? I didn't force myself to feel anything for my previous crushes, really. But... Why can't I feel much for other girls right now? Could I be straight that got away from a phase or is it a normal reaction to internalized biphobia?
You're story sounds similar to mine. I like boys too but I'm way more interested in women. For me it's easier to be with a girl then a guy.
