This may seem like a stupid question, but how do you actually know if you are attracted to someone? I mean just saying someone "looks beautiful" or whatever isn't the same, right? Just the past week or two I've been wondering if actually I may be asexual, but then realized I could be thinking that because I don't know how I would know if I was attracted to someone ... I'm not even sure how much sense I'm making right now! Until a week or so ago I was questioning if I was gay, but now I really have no idea! I don't even know how I am supposed to find out who/what I like?!
I wish I could help you, however as I'm asexual I can't really give you any advice I guess. I would guess it would mean feeling something when you look at someone or imagining having sex with a person you are drawn to
I think you know you're attracted to someone when you feel a deeper bond or connection with them on a platonic or physical level, and you see some sort of future with them or have feelings of lust for them. Usually this is something that can occur spontaneously, or after a prolonged period of time with the person. It's quite difficult to explain actually, but hope this helps.
I struggled with this question a lot as well. I think to me it feels like this pull towards someone. They pull my attention towards them, too, and I feel a bit happier or excited interacting with them. I saw it described once as wanting to lick the icing off a cinnamon roll, and that works for me. I know the word sex is in sexuality but it isn't necessarily always a sexual thing.
Hey cocobean, Your question is definitely NOT stupid. It's something we all struggle with at times and the actual answer is based on you as an individual. What I can say that might, hopefully, help is that, in my experience, when we are attracted to someone it tends to happen on multiple levels: physical, intellectual, and emotional/sexual. The physical is pretty straightforward - we simply can't stop staring at them and we keep thinking about their outward features that caught our eye. The intellectual piece comes in when we get to know them and find that they are someone with whom we 'connect' on an intellectual level. The emotional/sexual component that I am postulating is more complex. When we get to know the person and feel that they are on the 'same (or a very similar) wavelength'. When we just want to be around and with them all the time. When we feel butterflies upon seeing them/being with them. Our palms may sweat. We feel things in our bodies that are not within our control. Such involuntary reactions are disturbing and exciting at the same time. When we just want to be very close to them, strongly desire to touch them (and we feel excitement at that touch), strongly desire to cuddle with them, maybe strongly desire to just kiss them, and, of course, maybe strongly desire to be with them sexually, exploring and enjoying each other's bodies. Just my amateurish 2cents.
