I've never been in a relationship, and although I have some great friends I feel very lonely sometimes, and I'd like to meet someone special. However, I don't know whether I should date a guy or a girl. I've had emotional connections to both genders, and sexually i am equally attracted to people of both genders. I have one male friend who I connect to on an emotional level and I believe he may also like me as more than a friend, yet I'm not sure if that's what I want. I don't know if I should try being with him or if I should try to get the confidence to put myself out there and seek out a homosexual relationship. I am curious and it makes me excited to think about being in a relationship with another girl, but also scared as none of my friends and family know I am bi-curious. I think things could work out with this male friend but I'm worried that if I enter a serious heterosexual relationship that I'll never have the chance to explore my other side. I don't know what to do.. please help!!
Hi Jane, Think carefully before you consider taking things further with a friend. I mean, it can become a good thing of course, but often a few wild nights isn't worth risking a friendship over. Going into a relationship because you want a relationship is imho never a good base for a healthy longlasting relationship either, nor fair to the other people. But yeh of course opening up more to getting a relationship such as with dating or joining a dating website, why not? See if you can find anyone that feels good and that you think you might really be able to fall in love with I guess. As for which gender... shrugs... Whoever comes on your path first, whichever gender that is I guess?
Not to be a pessimist, but really most relationships don't last forever. So you would not necessarily be closing off one gender-option by dating the other one. Now, if you're the hook-up type, that's not a problem -- you don't expect it to last. But I suspect you are not that type. And so you don't want to go into any kind of relationship already thinking it's doomed -- who would want that? But still... they don't all last. Alternatively you could get into a relationship with gender A where you have permission to "explore" with gender B. Seeing as how perfectly evenly divided you seem to be, I agree you would not want to live life out without "knowing what you were missing." You sound like a truly 21st-century person with a 21st-century problem. Good luck!
I agree with Luka, you've got to be careful who you enter into a relationship with. If you're not going into this thing with a friend because you really like him as more than a friend too, then you shouldn't lead him on. I've been there and it feels nice for the time being, but hurting him was the most careless thing I've ever done. It sucks to feel like you're waiting around for something to happen, and you can of course be proactive about it and join dating websites or something, but don't worry if it doesn't take right away! The best relationships are ones that start organically, and whether you should be dating a guy or a girl will be obvious to you when you meet the right guy or girl, and who knows if that changes the next time around?
Thank you for your responses, I understand what you say, @iblubbler, I do really like this guy, and I would love to be in a relationship with him, I'm just worried that if I enter into a serious relationship and it goes well that I'll always regret not exploring my other side.
