Right, so I've always felt "gay". Like the description matches me. I thought that meant I was lesbian, so I tried focusing purely on girls but no. I still liked the boys more than girls. Also, I've known my gender wasn't right for a long time so how could I be lesbian? Now I've come to the conclusion I'm a trans dude and I'm thinking "wait.....so I am gay?" But guess what. I still like the odd girl. Am I gay with a few strays or wtf. I'm sexually attracted to both genders, but guess what? I don't want sex. Can it get more confusing? I'd want sex if I had a penis but I don't, and I don't want anything done to my vagina. I can't stand the feel of having something inside my vagina and it hurts a lot. I feel like a freak. How can I feel gay but not be?
To me it sounds like you're a asexual biromantic dude. Asexual=not wanting sex. Biromantic=liking both boys girls and guys. And a dude since ya say you're a trans dude. You're not a freak darling. You're just fine in this world
It´s not much confusing if you ask me, I can relate to you very well. Even tho I want a penis for sex but still. I think what are you going trough right now is kinda normal. I´ve been there too. Besides being gay includes romantic relationships too, sex doesn´t have to be included. But I understand why you find it so important. If you want to have sex like a guy and don´t want any operations I would recommend some sex toys and stuff. And if you won´t like it, then it´s okay. That would simply be just you. You really don´t need to feel like a freak. But if you can´t help it, let´s be freaks together