Despite almost coming out at the beginning of the month, i still haven't done it yet. I just don't think I'm ready. I am not sure how to know if i am truly ready to come out. I have spent a lot of time self reflecting on my feelings. It always comes back to my emotional connection with women and the lack of desire to have emotional connections with men. I see this even on a platonic level as I have no close male friends. I grew up without a father so that may have something to do with it. But I can't see myself spending my life with a man by my side, and a sexual relationship just doesn't seem natural. I have admitted to myself that I am gay and I am okay with it, but I can't help but worry that this is all in my head. I want to make sure I have covered all my bases before I start telling people. I will wait to come out when I feel ready and i know that only i can really know for sure. How did you know you were ready to come out? What was the deciding factor? Was there a specific feeling?
I knew I liked women when I was in my early teens. However I had no intention of coming out to my family until I found 'the one. I was kinda out at Uni. I joined the lgbt group and I told my flatmates. I was forced to come out when I was 28 after a bad break up my ex threatened to tell my parents. Overall I'm not sure if anyone ever feels ready. Only you will know when the time is right.
First of all, you have to know for sure, and then come to terms with it. For a long time, I thought I was bi, then I finally realized that I'm actually gay, and that scared the hell out of me. Took me quite a while to be sure, and it took me about 6 or 7 months to be okay with it. Now I am okay and comfortable with it, I am slowly starting to tell the people in my life. It helps that all the people I tell don't have a problem with it. The more I do it, the more ready I am to be truly open about it. Eventually, you will be able to tell the people you are afraid to tell, if you want to. So, basically, it takes time. It also takes thinking about it. Don't try ignore it until you are ready, no, you gotta acknowledge it. With that, it takes time.
Sexuality: I had been building up tension for a few weeks wondering if I was sure. Then I told a few friends first to get my confidence up, then let my family know after I felt ready. I was really nervous, but they were totally supportive. Gender: I just realized one day that I didn't feel entirely male, and I had been feeling it my entire life but hadn't really thought about it. Telling my family was easier for this, but they had more questions. I've thought that the gender stuff was in my head for a while, because I don't experience any dysphoria. However, I've realized that there aren't any hard and set rules, just be yourself.
