So I've known I like guys for a long time. When I turned 17 I had a crush on a girl for the first time and then another one later in the year and this past year i've realized Im kind of in love with one of my best friends (pretty sure im actually in love with her). I told her I liked her and she said she didnt like me and it kinda fucked me up for a bit. The thing is (back to the point) that I know I can be romantically attracted to women, and I have been these past few years, BUT i dont know if that also goes as far as sexual attraction. I am very much sexually attracted to men, but for women its not really there, or at least I don't think it is. For the friend im in love with, I definitely want to kiss her and cuddle (and maybe do more things), but for other women I dont feel anything. Is it possible to be heterosexual biromantic or possibly heterosexual, demisexual homoromantic? Just curious if anyone has any similar experiences or could give me any advice. Thanks (&&&) from a very sexually and romantically confused person
I think it's possible, however, from the sounds of it you might be willing to do more physical things with this friend. To me (and I'm absolutely no expert, mind you) it sounds like you're biromantic demisexual, or homoromantic demisexual. It might also be that you're attracted to the idea of what being intimate with a man can mean, whereas with girls it's uncharted territory? I think you're the best source on how you feel though. Are you attracted to the idea of going on dates with men and women? Are you only attracted to men for the ultimate goal of sex? Are you willing to have sex with a woman if you are close to her emotionally?
Rileyweaves- thanks for your response!! For guys - I have both emotional and physical attraction and that's pretty definite. But for women (very specific, few women) the physical attraction really isn't there at all unless i have a very close bond. Yeah, I think heterosexual demihomosexual biromantic fits really well but it's so long For answers to your questions: I definitely find going on dates with men attractive and if it's the right woman- yes! Definitely not attracted to men only for the goal of sex and I'm willing to sex with a woman if I have a connection with her, I think I just need to do some more experimentation in that area. Thanks so much
Alright. No problem- I hope I helped a little. (Also, if the label fits, you can tell that to people. You might get some weird looks, or funny reactions, but it's completely up to you what you tell others, so if you like it and it fits, why not?)
Hi purpleporcupine! As far as labels go you could also use bi/bisexual. My understanding is bi can simply mean you're attracted to two or more genders, even if you experience said attraction in different ways for men and women. Outside of the split attraction model the "sexual" part of bisexual isn't necessarily about sexual attraction, rather it refers to "sex" as in gender (so the gender(s) one is attracted to). From what you've said, it seems that you have the potential to be attracted (romantically and/or sexually) to both men and women . This fits under the bi umbrella. On a more practical note, it is a label you wouldn't have to explain every time you use it. After all, no one is entitled to know in which circumstances you experience sexual attraction except maybe potential sexual/romantic partners. Ultimately it's up to you how you identify, I just wanted to let you know this option existed! I wish you the best of luck in figuring things out.
