Hi everyone, Thanks in advance for your feedback. Growing up, my crushes were on girls. I even remember thinking in middle school how our sexuality unit in health class was a waste of time because I was so sure I was straight! lol. In late middle school, I started to have feelings for guys as well. I only had 1 serious relationship in high school - senior year dating a girl. However, while I felt emotionally 100% there, physically I was not. I would enjoy holding hands/making out, but if it ever got sexual I never got aroused, which I attributed to having "nerves." However, during this time I would only watch gay porn and sometimes would even think about guys when doing sexual things with her in order to attempt to get aroused. Honestly, boobs were alright but I was not impressed with vaginas lol sorry if that offends anyone. At this point, I accepted that I was, at minimum, bisexual but more in the gay direction. I didn't consider myself "fully" gay because I still enjoyed the romantic parts of our relationship and even kissing/holding hands, but just couldn't "perform" the physical ones. We eventually broke up and freshman year of college, I had a boyfriend and didn't have "performance" issues and enjoyed it . Being in a relationship with a guy felt more right to me and I feel more sexually attracted to men than women. I still will notice that a woman is beautiful and occasionally have sexual thoughts about women, but mostly they are about men and when I masturbate I think almost exclusively about men. However, I still wonder if perhaps with a girl I had more of an intellectual connection with or maybe with a girl who was more "my type" appearance-wise it would've been different? So now I basically am just wondering, do I sound like someone who is bisexual or someone who is in denial of being gay and coming to accept it? Again, thank you so much in advance. I really appreciate it.
You are a lot like me... Creepily so :lol:... Well, i've never been to Minnesota, but still :icon_wink I've had very similar experiences as you, and I've come to the conclusion that I am "Gay until further notice". That doesn't mean that you are, but it might be an indicator. You sound like the inverse of a hetero-flexible (a person who is basically straight, with exceptions), so a homo-flexible :icon_wink. My boyfriend, who is also quite similar to me sexuality wise (and so, probably, to you too), had the following answer: "Sweetheart, you are gay, but maybe you're still not accepting it yet? And if you are still not sure, find a woman, do it, but stop bothering me, I wanna sleep now." Basically, we are asking the wrong question. Believe me, I know, I've been asking myself exactly this question for years. Being bi with a strong preference for men and gay is basically the same thing if you take the error bars into account. I have a gay friend who has straight phases while drunk, another one who is straight but woke up in another man's bed once. I know girls who will kiss a girl while drunk, some who swing both ways happily and one who is a hardcore lesbian but still determined to find a guy who will "do her right" :icon_redf. So humans are a lot more diverse then straight, bi, or gay. If you want a label, you can go for bi or gay, suiting your mood. You can even go as straight some time, in the end, it doesn't matter. It is totally fine to change your label. Some people might laugh at you for not being sure, but seriously, screw them. See where not being sure takes you.
I guess just listen to your gut feelings and the answer will become clear...it's not like you have to be exactly one way in order to identify as gay or bi, so yeah
You sound like me. Not sure if gay or bi with a stronger tendency towards gay because of 'reasons'. But yeah what the rest said.. There's no deadline before you have to decide or anything. And well other people who thinks its their business wether you can be unsure, sure or changing, screw them.
Orca324...Welcome to emptyclosets? Lots of folks here to help and encourage you. What you are experiencing is not unusual at all. Very few people are 100% gay or 100% straight, even if they think they are. Given the right situation and the right person, a lot of people will end up doing something that they never thought they would! I am gay, but I have three children. It wasn't easy for me to be intimate with a woman and have kids, but I wanted a family, so I made it work even though it was really difficult....I had to use a lot of imagination! So I would say, don't panic...if you truly like a person, if their personality makes you feel good and you really enjoy their presence, what does it really matter if they are male or female?.....David
