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I think I came to my conclusion but would like some advice.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Erny, May 5, 2017.

  1. Erny

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    I feel after all of this thinking and all of this exploring, I feel and think that I am straight. I tried so much to masturbate and like gay porn but I simply don't. I try to feel attracted to the men I see in real life or in tv. I don't. I got confused because I was able to tell if a man was attractive and thought that that meant I was attracted to men. I confused myself more when I forced myself to ejaculate to gay porn. I don't desire to masturbate to men, it doesn't make me excited, I didn't know what I was feeling down there but now I know it's not arousal. Lastly, I further go confused when I used a vibrator to touch my genitals while looking at gay porn and I felt like I was going to ejaculate and or physically aroused but stopped as I didn't feel like ejaculating to that. While still retaining the erection, I stopped using the vibrator and started to masturbate and tried o enjoy it as I thought I was bi or gay at that point and went flaccid. Then I kept trying and nothing. I would at women and without much effort I got aroused and actually enjoyed it. I don't enjoy of thinking of kissing and having sex with men. I enjoy the thought of having a good time like playing football or games or whatever but nothing romantic or sexual. I feel with this I want to put this behind me and feel that I am straight. Do you guys think I am in denial, in the closet, or this whole thing was just me over thinking? This whole thing started because i used to be homophobic and a guy was trying to get with me and told me I should experiment because I was in the closet.
     
  2. Mihael

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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Let's set it straight: are you into this guy? Did you enjoy him hitting on you or whatever you two did if you did? Did you crush on him? I.e. Become slightly obsessed with him? Fantasise about him? Was it pleasant and exciting for you? Are you two partners, dating, whatever? Is he still hitting on you?
     
  3. Erny

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    To all of them. No. I just couldn't help but think what if he is right. What if this feeling meant this and this and that. I couldn't accept the obvious truth. I kept making what ifs. Until I resorted to trying to masterbate. I know I don't like it when I do it.but I hung up on was the physical stimulation that got me to ejaculate or not? I'm not secretly enjoying gay porn but am enjoying the physical stimulation from the vibrator. Or myself.but I go soft. I don't know but I feel like I am lying to myself if I were to say I like gay porn, men, penis...
     
  4. rokara

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
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    Porn isn't entirely a good indicator of one's sexuality, but keep in mind that porn is portrayal of fantasy, regardless of the genre. With porn, it just could be that you don't like what you are seeing (I get that way with hard bdsm and any choking).

    Instead of forcing yourself to answer questions, just sit back and let things play out. Look at guys and gals and see what your natural thoughts are, whom you are attracted to. You might be surprised about the answers you get when you relax and try not to overthink things (which it sounds like you are doing). Try this the next time you go out and about, like to the grocery store or Walmart or some place where there's gonna be a lot of people around :slight_smile:
     
  5. Erny

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    My true and natural thoughts are that I am attracted to women only. It's o my when I freak out is when I start to make a case whether or not I am into men or not. When I am completely relaxed with out a care. I don't specialize men and get uncomfortable. Thank you.
     
  6. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Nothing in what you describe sounds like any indication of attraction to guys.