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Help required about my sexuality!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Please love me, May 5, 2017.

  1. Please love me

    Regular Member

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    Hi, I identify myself as bisexual right now but i am really confused. So, when i was a kid, i would actually only fall in love with girls. I didn't feel so much sexually attracted to girls, but I really felt romantically close to them. When I was 11/12 i thought that when i got into puberty, i would sexually feel closer woman, but that didn't exactly happen. The first days i started feeling so sexual (i think i got into puberty? I was 13,5), I looked up for gay porn. I didn't have urge to masturbate, but i was so turned on by gay porn. Then i hated myself for that (I hated myself for my whole childhood. Because i was sexually attracted to guys when i was a child too.) 2 months later I learned masturbation and i started masturbating on girls. I was actually trying to avoid gay, but i also got turned on by woman. Now i am almost 15, i only masturbate on gay porn when i masturbate but I still feel romantically closer to female. But i feel like I can still date a boy, and have sex with a female. Both okay for me. I dated 3 girls in my life and 2 of them was absolutely awesome. I totally felt completed. But these were before my puberty. I didn't date anyone after puberty, but i still did fall in love with 2 girls! I am just so confused.
    So:
    - I have never had a crush on a boy.
    - I don't find boys romantically attractive .
    - I always had crushes on girls.
    - Right now I don't find guys romantically appealing.
    - I like female body. But I don't necessarily want to get into a sexual intercourse. I can do it and it is perfectly fine for me. Male body on the other hand, is very sexually appealing to me.

    Little Side Note: I am a total romantic. I believe in true love and it doesn't have to involve sex. I feel like only thing i need is love love and love. Even though I am a teenager, i can give up sex for the human who loves me the way i am. (Sorry if i made you cringe :icon_bigg)

    I am so sorry for my English. It's not my primary language.
    Thanks for giving away your time for reading this! I would be so happy if you could figure my sexuality out. I will be waiting for your answers (!) <3