Like most of the posts on here, I'm confused. I know I have my orientation as "Bisexual", but I don't really know if I exactly am bisexual. I mean, I know I feel attracted to both guys and girls (mostly just crushes because I don't really get turned on to anyone unless it's... in that... format... ya know.. I don't want to get too graphic.. moving on.. heh), but I feel this pressure to label myself as "this" or "that". Besides close friends, no one in real life knows about these specific feelings I've been having for the past four years and it somewhat makes me feel a bit left out since I don't have any friends (in real life) who have had feelings for both guys and girls. My mom and dad understand that I'm trying to figure out, but they're both on opposite sides of the situation. They're both born-again Christians, but my mom is still trying to understand it still.* She says if it's in "...God's will, then it shall be done" (something like this, not word for word...). They both tell me they'll love me and support me no matter what, which is something I was really scared about a few months ago and truly do appreciate. Anyways, back to the real subject. I've had feelings for both guys and girls romantically, but I've never had an actual relationship with a person (in real life at least). I can say that it's a concept that I can somewhat grasp, but I don't completely understand since I don't have the experiences of someone who has dated/flirted** in real life. The crushes I've had have been on both guys and girls, although the girl crushes started much later when I was in the seventh grade. While before this I had crushes on guys exclusively since I was around the age of six or five. Sometimes the fact that the girl crushes came later (based on a ratio of my crushes for guys:girls is probably 3:1 or 4:1), makes me feel a bit insecure and feel as if I am faking my sexuality. As well as when I have a crush on a boy and don't pay too much attention to my girl crush, I feel as if I am just faking this or it's all just a phase that is ending. Although it's not and possibly may not for a while at least. In the past there have been some guys who I have really liked as well as some girls I have also really liked; of course in different ways since they have had different personalities. I have noticed I do feel more attracted to guys personality-wise while I normally feel more attracted to a girl based off her first impression as well as her looks. I can be kind of stingy when it comes to looks, but normally if I get to know the person really well I tend to feel more attraction to them if they know basic social skills such as listening, talking, making me laugh, and telling me all about their stats in our favorite game, etc. Just the basics a girl looks for in a guy, ya know? Seriously though, I feel more attraction to someone when they're able to make me laugh, honestly care about me, listen to me, support me when I'm feeling really down, send me jokes/cute little messages when I feel anxiety kicking in or feeling really sad (almost to the point of depression since all motivation just leaves entirely), and just overall understanding of me without being quick to judge. One person has made me feel this way, although they were online, on the other side of the country, and probably don't share the same feelings I had for them once since they might be in a relationship with someone (although I'm not really certain anymore). Welp, I feel this has dragged on for too long and it's getting into my own lil things I gotta work on my own. I just want to thank you guys for your help! <3 PS: Extra stuff: *She works with other teenagers so she's starting to understand this is something that's normal for teenagers - at least more than she used to. **Being the 'awkward teenage gamer girl' I am, I have no (social) skills whatsoever when it comes to the DLC pack of life called, "Flirting". It's like that expansion pack that you really want, but as soon as you start it up something decides to go wrong. Whether it be an error or it's not understanding the fundamentals, the cheat codes still have yet to be leaked.
Basically you are still in the tutorial part of the game known as life. Its a system that never works right for anyone, even if you invert the Y or X axis or load a custom button layout. Than there are the completely random stat changes; hormones, the environment, people, force on you and the whole thing seems like it should crash. As someone who is also Bi, my bi doesn't fall on the neat 50% 50% either. More of a 70% 30% split. So you aren't alone in not having a nice neat even split. Which is cool, nothing wrong with that. Also no one really knows what they are doing and we are all just winging it. Been in game for 36 years and still waiting for a body slider app and cheat codes.
