I imagine a lot of people go through stages of self discovery as far as sexuality is concerned (of course) but I feel like I've been questioning myself for far too long. I feel so confused about what my orientation is, and I'm wondering if I'm just being in denial about it. But I also fear the I'm just putting ideas in my mind instead of really knowing what's going on. I've never been sexually active or in a relationship, which kinda adds to my confusion. Very recently I've come to the conclusion that I may be bisexual, because I've felt attraction towards guys and girls. This thing is that I'm just very reluctant to initiate anything as far as relationships or anything sexual, mostly with females. My decision is very new and I'm not even close to being completely OK with it, but I want to know if anyone went through what I'm going through. Throughout my childhood I've had multiple crushes, a lot were male, and in recent times have recognized that I've also had female crushes without realizing it. Also, throughout my life I've found having sex with females repulsive, until recently when there have been instances where I've actually desired relations with females. With guys its been fairly consistent, so right now I'm just trying to figure out where I stand and how I'm going to come to terms with it. I would also love to hear about anyone elses experiences discovering their sexuality, more directed towards the process. Thank you in advance:icon_bigg
While I am still in the process of discovery myself, I completely understand what you are going through, and in fact went through much of what you describe. I will simply state that not everyone who is bi is equally attracted to both genders. For example, I tend to lean gay. I am still attracted to guys, just not as much as girls.
Hey there! I identify as bisexual myself, so I may be able to provide some insight or maybe just some emotional comfort. I was actually in a very similar boat as you when I was going through the discovery phase. Throughout my childhood, I had mainly male crushes and later realized that I had some female crushes as well. The main reason I was in denial was due to my religious family, and I knew virtually nothing about the LGBTQ+ community until I was in middle and high school. And a bit of soul-searching after that led me to question my gender identity (I'm biologically female yet identify as genderqueer), and dealing with depression and anxiety made me question whether or not I was asexual. A lot of people feel confused and often turn it into self-hatred or disgust when you're questioning. It's a normal psychological response. Your shyness at initiating relationships with women may be a product of the confusion. It could be, but the only way you'll really know is if you go out and try or if you open your mind to fantasies with women. The more you do it, the more apparent the answer will become to you. It takes a lot of time, and it can be incredibly frustrating, scary, confusing, etc. Try imagining yourself in a committed relationship with a woman. Throughout this process, consider possible factors that may be influencing your opinion. For me, it was religion and mental illness. For you, it may be something completely different. At the end of the day, how you decide to label yourself is your choice. If you choose a label now that doesn't fit you, it's not the end of the world. People change; sexuality can be fluid at times. From what you've written specifically (and this is only my opinion), you may be at the very least bi-curious, and there is potential that you may be bisexual. Again, that's just from my personal experience though because I see a few parallels.
Hey there! so much of your story sound like I could have written it. A few months ago I came here with those same questions that had been in my head for a long time but that I'd always denied. The whole 'putting ideas in my head' part feels very familiar and I've never been in a realtionship either. Like you I've realised that certain girls I 'admired' might have meant something more to me but it's hard to know that kind of thing for sure because of not seeing it that way at the moment it happened. You seem quite sure about your attraction to guys which is already very helpfull to figuring out where on the spectrum you belong (I'm not a 100% sure about guys). Maybe you could think about those 'might have been' crushes and imagine that if you had felt that kind of bond/attraction/feeling towards a guy, would you have considered it a crush? I don't know if that's helpfull No one can decide your sexuality for you but being on this forum, expressing my thoughts and reading other stories has been very helpfull for me and I'm starting to feel more and more confident every day (still confused though). I hope it can help you too. Just know that you are not alone in this situation at all and that there is nothing wrong with not being sure yet.
Wow thank you for replying everyone. Im very happy about being able to find people who are going through what I am going through; its been really comforting to read everyone's posts and its helped me find some clarity. Its only been a few days since I've joined and I know the process will take a while, but I appreciate the tips.
Hey Altruistic blue, Only you can actually ever know your own sexual orientation. Personally, I think that one of the most important things for any of us is to understand and accept our own sexuality. There is no timetable on when that happens for each of us. Perhaps you can get something useful out of the discussions on these YouTube videos: Are You Bisexual - Quiz How to Tell if You're Bisexual - Is Bisexuality a Choice? I hope that helps a little...
