Hey, I'm new here. I'm a 14 year old girl, and I've questioned if I'm romantically/sexually attracted to guys for a while. A while ago I had a crush on a trans dude, but I feel like I was actually crushing on the part of him that I knew as a girl years before? There have been times were I think a guy looks nice, but I can't imagine myself being in a relationship with a boy. I think I'm a lesbian? Or am I bisexual? Why am I having a hard time labeling myself (and is it necessary to do so?)
There's no reason to label yourself. I would say just go with how you feel and don't worry about it. Everyone figures themselves out at different points in their lives.
Hey, welcome to the community! It's not necessary to label yourself unless you're specifically looking for a relationship. Having a label makes it easier for other people to identify who you are in terms they can understand. The choice is yours. Also, if you do decide to choose a label, don't feel pressured to find the correct one right away. Some people do, but for many others, it's a long process of self-discovery. It's not an easy road, but the result is incredibly satisfying, I'd say. If you're questioning your attraction to boys, I'd say to open your mind to fantasies (decent or not) to see what interests you about girls versus boys. Can you see yourself being married to a woman and being happy? What about a man? Do you have sexual fantasies about or get turned on by women? Can you say the same for men? Keep an open mind about everything. Sometimes, we get so caught up in the details, we often overlook the obvious. Also, there are many myths about bisexuality, so if you feel like you may be bisexual, it's good to know that attraction to people of both sexes isn't always an even split. I'm 75-25 split between men and women. Other people may be 60-40. Not a lot of people can say they're comfortably 50-50 split which is okay. Sexuality itself is a very fluid concept which can change over time for seemingly no reasons whatsoever.
^ This. We are each unique individuals and labels can be confining. Understanding and accepting your own sexuality is much more important than labeling. Perhaps the discussion in these YouTube videos can help you a little bit with your quest to understand your own sexuality: Are You Bisexual - Quiz How to Tell if You're Bisexual - Is Bisexuality a Choice? Just some thoughts.
Thank you very much for the advice! ---------- Post added 17th May 2017 at 08:59 AM ---------- Thank you so much
Hey! I'm Lauren, welcome to EC! We're actually quite close in age lol. Anyways, you shouldn't feel the need to label yourself right away. Or at all, actually. It can take quite a while to figure out what you are attracted to. But, be yourself and don't feel rushed to label yourself until you want to.
It sounds to me like you might be a lesbian, but as others have said, you don't need to rush to label yourself. You should own your label and feel comfortable with it. Also, don't feel guilty if you change your label later. Learning about yourself is a process.
