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A long time questioning.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by GoldenRaven, May 25, 2017.

  1. GoldenRaven

    Regular Member

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    If asked, I usually try to avoid the topic until I eventually come out and say that I am bisexual, but I have to be comfortable enough. I always get a little awkward about it since I've primarily been in relationships with men. I've dated 3 women in my life and two of those are the only relationships that I truly miss years out of them. Plus when I do watch porn, male female porn makes me cry midway through. So I just started exclusively watching women. When I got out of my 8 year marriage, where I was always feeling like I had to hide a big part of myself and felt incomplete, I tried to date women, but ended up meeting someone and have been with him for almost 3 years now, but that feeling is coming back... I haven't talked to him about it, it will crush him, especially since he's so hard on himself.

    When I think about my future, when I am old and grey, I've always seen myself side by side with (my then) best friend and she's smiling. Why is it so hard to just come out and say it like I really mean it and not hide it deep down. I don't know what I am really so scared of.