Hi, I'm a 14 year old girl and I have no clue what I am. For a while, I thought I was gay. I only fantasize about girls, I think about getting a girlfriend/wife in the future, and just have this strange, desperate desire to be gay. But when I'm at school and out of my thoughts, I seem to find guys more attractive. When I see an attractive guy, I get this odd tightness in my chest and I'm never able to look him in the eye. This kept happening to me with this one specific guy for months until it has recently started to fade away. When I find a girl attractive, it usually feels forced and goes away in 2 seconds. I get extremely distressed over this, and for some reason I really want to be gay. Shouldn't it be the opposite? Even today, a guy said I was pretty and I got the most flustered I ever had in my life--my face got hot, that chest feeling happened again, and it lingered for a few periods. That has never happened with a girl. I don't think I've ever truly been physically attracted to a girl. Whenever I think about kissing a guy or dating doing anything else, I just...dont want to. But maybe this is just a phase? And that's a big thing I'm afraid of. Am I just curious for girls? Do I only think of them in a sexual manner? What on earth is wrong with me?
Hello! I'm 15 and I have a similar situation. I mostly get crushes on boys, but I am also quite attracted to girls sexually. I currently identify as bi, and sometimes my girl crushes seem forced, like I'm trying to prove my bisexuality to myself, if that makes sense. As time goes on, I get more and more sure of my sexuality, and I feel less like I have to prove it. So honestly I would just say give it time, you don't need to have everything figured out right away. I'm still kind of figuring it out myself. You don't need to choose a label right now (or ever, if you don't want to)! I get that it can be confusing and frustrating, but you have lots of time.
I'm in a similar situation, except I like women a whole lot more than men. Tbh sexuality is so fluid and the more you age, the more you can figure it out. You don't have to figure it out now, and sexuality can "change", or adjust as you get older. It isn't just a multiple choice answer on a test. In all honesty though, how you feel about your experiences is a whole lot more telling than what you consider ideal. But lesbians have had intimate relationships with men, and straight women have had loving relationships with other women. Everyone is different
