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Sexual and Romantic Orientation If you are unsure of your sexuality, post here for support and advice. If you have concerns about coming out, please use the Coming Out Advice forum.

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Old 12th May 2010, 07:22 AM   #1
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sexuality confusion

So i need a bit of advice as this subject has been weighing on my mind quite a bit lately. Have any of you ever felt that you may have been wrong about your sexuality? Not wrong like "go to hell" wrong, like, if your not entirely sure if you gay.

Life had calmed down for about a week and i was happy, until of course i go to denver and see a woman walking down the road and thinking to myself "Wow she's hot". And since then i've been all messed up. The thought of guys hasn't been as arousing as it usually does.

I know i've been complaining alot on here, most of which has been rather pointless and dramatic and i understand people may not be willing to listen to any threads i make, my best freind pretty much completely ignored this conversation when i tried to talk with him, but please, tell me what you think. I would much appretiate it.

Thanks,
David
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Old 12th May 2010, 07:29 AM   #2
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Re: sexuality confusion

Hey - I think there are quite a few thread around here about the spectrum of sexuality. It is rarely black and white and it would be completely normal to experience other attractions in spite of one's primary orientation.

This might just add to the confusion I suppose. Are you in conversation with anyone about what you are going through?

Peace,
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Old 12th May 2010, 07:39 AM   #3
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Re: sexuality confusion

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Originally Posted by padre411 View Post
Hey - I think there are quite a few thread around here about the spectrum of sexuality. It is rarely black and white and it would be completely normal to experience other attractions in spite of one's primary orientation.

This might just add to the confusion I suppose. Are you in conversation with anyone about what you are going through?

Peace,
Sadly no,i tried talking to my best freind and he assumed that i was just being dramatic again and told me to drop it. He's the only one i've had much of a conersation about this with
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Last edited by gemerency; 12th May 2010 at 07:42 AM..
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Old 12th May 2010, 08:40 AM   #4
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Re: sexuality confusion

Well Davey maybe you should explore it. I look at girls too but they don't do anything for me. Just look in your self.
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Old 12th May 2010, 08:49 AM   #5
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Re: sexuality confusion

lol somehow i doubt you look at women bubbles, but thank you *hugs*
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Old 12th May 2010, 08:50 AM   #6
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Re: sexuality confusion

lol *hugs* I do but they dont attract me lol
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Old 12th May 2010, 09:36 AM   #7
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Re: sexuality confusion

I don't see complaining I see someone confussed about what the hell is going on in his life and trying figure it out.

I used to feel that way, like maybe I "beat" the gay, and live a "normal" life, but when I realized I was fooling myself. We are what we are, we can either accept it or fight against it.

You have to know when to fight and when you surrender.
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Old 12th May 2010, 09:54 AM   #8
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Re: sexuality confusion

thank you malachite, though im not fighing being gay, i like being gay and would like to continue, i guess im fighting hererosexuality
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Old 12th May 2010, 10:12 AM   #9
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Re: sexuality confusion

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Originally Posted by gemerency View Post
So i need a bit of advice as this subject has been weighing on my mind quite a bit lately. Have any of you ever felt that you may have been wrong about your sexuality? Not wrong like "go to hell" wrong, like, if your not entirely sure if you gay.
My answer, yes, many time only now am I being to know my orantarion and to be blunt, I like cock not pussy.
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Old 12th May 2010, 11:38 AM   #10
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Re: sexuality confusion

Um, yes, I question it still. .. .. ...
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Old 12th May 2010, 01:09 PM   #11
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Re: sexuality confusion

I think lots of people question it and then decide on it and then question it again, I think the best thing to do is just try and go with the flow, if you like boys and they turn you on then go with it, if after a while you see some girls and they turn you on then go with that and dont limit yourself to anything just because it was wanted you wanted last month or last year. It easier said than done because as humans we tend to want to label things and put things in boxes but its the best thing if you can.

If you are single and you see a girl who takes your fancy then go with it and see where it takes you, as long as your not trying to force yourself into something you dont want then I say just enjoy it.
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Old 13th May 2010, 12:45 AM   #12
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Re: sexuality confusion

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Originally Posted by silverhalo View Post
I think lots of people question it and then decide on it and then question it again, I think the best thing to do is just try and go with the flow, if you like boys and they turn you on then go with it, if after a while you see some girls and they turn you on then go with that and dont limit yourself to anything just because it was wanted you wanted last month or last year. It easier said than done because as humans we tend to want to label things and put things in boxes but its the best thing if you can.

If you are single and you see a girl who takes your fancy then go with it and see where it takes you, as long as your not trying to force yourself into something you dont want then I say just enjoy it.
wow i really like everything you said and the way you said it...well done
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Old 13th May 2010, 04:38 AM   #13
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Re: sexuality confusion

Quote:
Originally Posted by silverhalo View Post
I think lots of people question it and then decide on it and then question it again, I think the best thing to do is just try and go with the flow, if you like boys and they turn you on then go with it, if after a while you see some girls and they turn you on then go with that and dont limit yourself to anything just because it was wanted you wanted last month or last year. It easier said than done because as humans we tend to want to label things and put things in boxes but its the best thing if you can.

If you are single and you see a girl who takes your fancy then go with it and see where it takes you, as long as your not trying to force yourself into something you dont want then I say just enjoy it.
I totally agree with this.
I think we are all confused to what the hell of brains think sometimes, but if we want to keep some of our sanity we hae to stop labeling everything we do.

You are not going to find an answer for you question. No one can tell you what you are of what you feel. My advice? Stop thinking about it and just go with it. Stop labeling yourself as gay,bi,straight or whatever other label is out there.

You like guys - check
You might like girls - check

Go from there and just stop thinking. No need to label any feelings you might have
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Old 13th May 2010, 05:17 AM   #14
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Re: sexuality confusion

I see the prettiness of a girl but feel nothing after that.
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Old 13th May 2010, 10:15 AM   #15
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Re: sexuality confusion

Quote:
Originally Posted by silverhalo View Post
If you are single and you see a girl who takes your fancy then go with it and see where it takes you, as long as your not trying to force yourself into something you dont want then I say just enjoy it.
This is particularly good advice.

I am a believer that the truth is always there, it's just that sometimes it lurks beneath the surface and we keep it hidden. You could truly be bisexual - the spectrum of sexuality is real. Or you could subconsciously be so afraid of being gay that your subconscious mind is trying to send up false signals to support what it wants you to believe. But the truth is there. That's why I like silverhalo's advice - set aside the labels and try things out. Approach it with a clear mind and no expectations; just be sure you're not leading anyone on. Then really listen to your emotions, to your reactions. If you can turn off the voice in your head that is questioning things, then the truth should start to come to you.

How do I know this? I was there. I hated being gay so much that I was crying "I don't want to be gay" out loud in the middle of the night. It was emotionally painful. But the more I was able to examine the facts objectively, the more the truth became obvious to me. In my case, I was gay without a doubt. And for all the years of doubt and denial I had, I no longer doubt this - not one bit. And I no longer worry about finding a particular girl attractive - because I still do from time to time - but I know what that feeling is and what it isn't. And I'm ok with that!
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