Very upset and confused about my sexuality

It doesn't sound like you're a lesbian, but you could be bi, or at least a bit flexible in our orientation. That's all fine, it's normal. Here's the thing, you notice girls, you might even crush on one. And that scares you, because (correct me if I'm wrong here) you think you might fall for one and end up ruining your relationship with your bf.

So, let's turn the situation on its head. Do you notice other guys? Do you think you might end up crushing on some other guy? How is that any different from how you notice (and potentially like) girls?

 

Doesn't sound to me like you're gay. Maybe bi, but that's for you to figure out. So, what's the big deal if you like both guys and girls? If you want to stay with your boyfriend, I don't see how liking girls would change the relationship if you're attracted to him and you love him.

 

I'm not sure how you liking girls could possibly ruin your relationship with your guy, unless he's very homophobic.

Is it possible that you're more attracted to women than you want to believe? You seem like you feel like you can't trust yourself when you're around women. I draw this conclusion because you seem so genuinely concerned that your feelings toward women will end your relationship. The only way it can end is if you act on them and if you're this concerned, it could only mean that you have desires you wish to suppress.

Suppressing your feelings for women is not healthy, but that does not mean you need to act on them. If you really love your boyfriend, you'll find a healthy outlet for these desires.

Will you fall in love with another woman? It definitely is possible. Love is a difficult emotion and you can't control it. Also, it's important to realize that you're only 18. Your whole life is ahead of you and any number of things can happen to you. Worrying about what could happen will only hold you back. For now, focus on what is. You love your boyfriend and that's what matters.

 

Hey

it's not wrong to be attracted to the same sex, or feel like they are pretty. I like men but I think that there are very beautiful women out there.

Feeling curious or confused is very common at our age, I bet a good number of people have often wondered "what if I kiss a boy?" or "what's it like to kiss a girl?" depending on their gender.


If you were gay you'd know in the long run. You might be bi but leaning towards the straight side.

Do you like girls? Probably.

Are you a lesbian? I don't think so.

 

You seem to really care about your boyfriend, so I'd say that you probably are not a lesbian. You sound more like a bisexual to me, to be honest.

That doesn't really have to change your relationship with your boyfriend though. Some guys think bisexuality in women is really hot.

 

It seems to me that you are likely bi or at least bicurious. What I suggest is reading "The Bisexuals Guide to the Universe" and maybe "Bi any other name." Check the resources here and come to terms with how you feel yourself. Then talk to your boyfriend. I see no reason this should affect your relationship at all. As for your feelings for other women well there is a ton of erotic material that is likely to sate this without it causing infidelity of thats what you worry about

Oh one last thing you are young and thus I assume your boyfriend is as well. I hate to say it but many young and hopeful males will go to the idea of threesome when you explain you are bi. Dont let him push you for that if you dont like the idea. Also try to be comforting that you love him and dont plan to leave for a women. Just two other bits of advice that popped into my head.

( To any mods or admins or advice givers that read that last bit I dont think its out of line but if it was please let me know and I am sorry in advance.)

 

it's ok to be confused, bi, whatever- you want to be with your boyfriend, yeah? so it's ok that you like other girls, too- the important thing is that you found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, and that's a really lucky thing

 

Sexuality is a complicated thing. You're not either straight, gay or bi. Every combining do exist. Some people are straight, some are gay, and some are bisexual attracted equaly to both gender, but some people are also straight and on occasion attracted to the same sex, some are gay and on occasion attracted to the opposite gender, and some people are bisexual but attracted more to one gender.
You perfectly can be straight but on occasion attracted to girls. Or bisexual but mainly attracted to guys, it's completly fine.
The fact that you find some girls attractive or that you fantasize on girls at some point doesn't mean it's going to jeopardize your relationship with your boyfriend.
You love him, you're attracted to him, sex is great with him, you want to stay with him for a long time, that's fantastic ! And there is no reason to think the fact you can be attracted to girls too (frequently or not) would put your relationship with your boyfriend in danger.
If your attraction to girls is something you'd like to share with him then do. If it's something you want to keep for yourself only, then do. It's completly fine.

Relax and take care of yourself, Cécile

 

You seem frightened by commitment.

You are seeking a way out...

You want a reason not to be with him...

You can convince yourself you are gay to get rid of him...

But in the end of the day you are still not really gay....

You only have commitment issues with guys that you need to work out if you ever want a meaningful relationship with the opposite sex ever.

What I am trying to say here is that I do not think you are gay you just want an excuse not to love the guy even if that excuse is a lie sugarcoated nicely with a gay tone.

Do not use sexual orientation to sugarcoat or avoid the real issue...

 

Based on what you said, you have some attraction to girls. But more for guys. So it sounds like your bisexual possibly leaning straight.

I'm still accepting myself, I certainly used words like more or less to try to project how I wanted to feel vs how I really felt

 

Ok so ive been gay since i was in the fifth grade and now im a freshmen in high school but
Idk if im still gay im so c:helpnfused

 

From what you have provided it doesn't seem like you're a lesbian. Here's why I think so:

- Two days ago I had a feeling I might be a bisexual or lesbian, after my boyfriend left for vacation.
- I have anxiety and I am always afraid of losing my boyfriend, and now I'm experiencing that I may lose him if I am attracted to girls.
- I really don't want to date girls, and I find them a little bit attractive, but I prefer guys.
- I'm very confused right now.
- I want to be with my boyfriend and someday marry him, and we have amazing sex together, I just feel a little confused on if I like girls too.
- I'm only 18 years old, and have never felt this way before.
- I just want to be with my boyfriend, but not if I feel confused about if I might be bisexual or lesbian.
- I'm really in love with him. I just feel paranoid of losing him if I do like girls.

When you're anxious, it's like trying to drive on a highway with the morning fog. You can't see shit, literally. Being anxious while having these thoughts provides no answers for you because you'll end up in a never ending cycle of confusion. I have anxiety as well and the reason why I could not give up the fact that I could be gay was because I kept having questions like "what if..." ALL THE TIME.

I start having sexual thoughts about some older guy, then I think to myself "what if I am really attracted to older guys?" But all my life, despite having these sexual thoughts, I've never had feelings for a guy, not once. This, in my opinion, is something that you can't control. You can't control the feelings you have over someone, really. This is a strong opinion, I'll admit.

I won't rule out that you aren't bisexual either. Only you will know that. Where you're feelings are tells you who you're attracted to, not which gender.