I came out as lesbian. I came out. That was a start... Since about the age of 15/16 I identified as bisexual, though I never officially came out. OK, so close friends knew about my sexuality back then, since I had my first girlfriend. I went through a questioning stage, which was probably just part of finally accepting myself (as a bisexual female). Then I realized I was more interested in women, and found men repulsive (not them as people, but the thought of having to be intimate with them). So I figured, "Ok, so I must be lesbian then" and I was comfortable with that label. Wore it with pride and came out as a lesbian to a few people. But after a while I started to question again. And started to feel like I'd miss out on something if I choose to date only women. And that's what led me to my final realisation: I'm actually bisexual! It's confusing and would probably make some people think I'm indecisive, but really, that is who I am and not by choice. It's been a long, hard road to finally go back 360degrees to where I am again now, to realize what I've actually known for many years! I'm so frustrated and hope that all of this questioning business is over and done with now and that I can just go on and live my life, with the woman (or man) that crosses my path..... Sigh:eusa_doh:
hahaha! hey at least you are trying to be honest with yourself and others on what you are and who you are, not phony and trying to be popular. well, it maybe confusing to them, who you told, and look indecisive, but to us, we know better cuz we go through this process too. And I want clarity for myself so I hope it is done for you now too. I feel like my life is starting to change, and I am not sure where I am going to end up. It appears I was trying to please others and try to fit in and be good, not be who I was, which I knew when I was a kid clearly. So I am backtracking to where I left off, about age 13! And begin my life at university out and Queer and Deaf and start asking people out and who do I vote for President cuz I will be living in DC? Gosh it is exciting and worrisome same time, cuz I am so scared to come out and live life as real me knowing some people will not tolerate it...and yet I am not much of a coward usually. So I think I am going to change drastically before the end of 2012. This whole year has been a year of changes for me, from New Years Day to the end, I think I came in questioning my sexuality, and will end it a Queer having a great time in DC!
Aaw thanks for your reply. Makes me feel soooo much better about myself. Hehe I rectified my blooper on FaceBook and with the friends I came out to also, they're all very understanding and supportive. All of them told me the same thing: "You are discovering who you truly are, it's part of the process" So at least I know there's no harm done. Just wonder whether my "interested in" update will get people talking? Not that I care. I liked an LGBT FaceBook page too, and it shows on my wall. There's no shame there anymore. I don't care what others say or think of it. This is me - take it or leave it. If you can't handle my sexuality, you don't deserve to be loved by me! Lol
glad to help. i aint out on fb, too many peeps! but i have dropped hints, and changed my profile pix to one you see on EC, rather masculine. i never filled out gender or interested in...and been online since 1998. somethingalways made me not want to fill that stuff out. btw, since coming out to myself, i saw another change... a form in feb i filled out got damaged so i refilled one, it asked my gender male or female, and as it is medical it had questions about contraceptives and birth control and men section is out for me. i found it difficult, painful to mark them boxes, just a check mark! what happened?
Hey, another South African! Hello! :smilewave Don't worry about it. Sexuality is fluid! I really don't like labels, but if I have to, I identify as "queer". I'm definitely not straight. I like guys and girls, so lesbian doesn't work, but bisexual feels too limited and I'm not sure about being pansexual yet. And so, I've decided on queer. I fall for a person, not their gender. Some days, I want to be with a guy, but other days, the thought repulses me and I only want to be with a girl. It changes all the time. And yes, it can be confusing, but hey, I just go with the flow. I'm glad your friends are understanding! Some people might call you indecisive, but just brush it off. You know who you are, that's all that matters.
Very interesting that you consciously just never filled out the gender or interested in parts on Facebook. Maybe because you are comfortable with who you are and who you fancy and that's all that matters. You didn't feel the need to disclose it to anyone, or maybe just didn't feel ready to come out to anyone yet? Howzit :lol: :smilewave I agree sexuality is fluid and labels aren't necessary, but somehow I need to have a word to describe who and what I am. Weird. Positive I've got it sorted now though. And I think my parents will feel slightly more comfortable with it too. Haven't spoken to them about it yet, but the other night we were watching a program on TV and they touched on the subject of gay on it, and I could feel the atmosphere change almost instantly. It made me feel so uncomfortable! Wish they were more open-minded! As far as people calling me indecisive goes, I couldn't really care less. If anyone asks about it, I'll just say that I accidentally unticked the men block when I changed it initially, and only noticed it later when I went back to check, so I changed it to what it should've been.:lol: Speaking of which, so far I've only gotten good reactions regarding my haircut (from quite a bit longer than shoulder length to short) and that raised my self-confidence considerably. Just wish I could have a complete makeover (wardrobe change to more "gender neutral" clothes)...
Hey don't worry about it! Just know, whatever you want, whatever you feel, it's just an expression of who you are. Your identity can change, but you will always be you. Even if you change, you're still you just as you were meant to be. So, don't stress. Whatever your feelings, they're the right feelings.
Thank you That's really sweet. I've decided to just carry on with my life as it is now, and if I happen to fall in love with someone, so be it. Whether it's a woman or a man... Check this out: Just a bit of randomness and useless info. Realized now my wardrobe today is crazy. Starting from the top... Men's jacket, women's top, women's pants and men's shoes. Then I've also got on men's deodorant and a men's watch. I'm seriously blended together into a mix of madness :lol: The only neutral thing about me is probably my hair...Nuts!
I also had longer-than-shoulder-length hair my whole life, and then suddenly, decided to cut it in January. Pixie cut/Justin Bieber style. Best decision I ever made! And I get more compliments than ever, which is definitely a confidence booster. :lol:
