First of all I just want to say hello to all of you here on EC. After reading some articles and seeing all the positive feedback I decided to join. (Plus I need advice!) Okay so here goes. I am a freshman and have never kissed a boy before. Looking back now, I've never really had a crush on a boy I kind of just wanted a relationship. These past couple months I have been really confused with my sexuality. I think girls are beautiful and much easier to talk to, (most my friends are girls btw) but on the other hand guys and girls having sex kind of turns me on (sorry for being graphic). Plus I had never had my first kiss. Well that is until the other night. Me and my best friend kissed. And she just so happens to be a girl. Kissing her felt really good. But I also kind of want to kiss a boy. ARGH. I know I have a long time to figure this out but I am just so confused. I think I may be lesbian or bi with a preference to girls but shouldn't I kiss a boy first? Sorry if that was confusing my brains all over the place right now. ---------- Post added 19th Sep 2012 at 08:10 PM ---------- Oh and also being around my best friend feels good. Like whenever we touch I get butterflies in my stomach and feel light.
First of all, welcome to Empty Closets, and I'm glad you already feel welcome here. You don't need to have had sexual experiences to know your sexual orientation. Most people are straight of course, and they "just know." There are a lot of people who also questioned, though, and I don't want to minimize that. It is possible, and in fact probable that you just need to interrogate your feelings more. Just remember that when it comes to who you are and how you feel, there are no wrong answers except the ones you arrive at from the place of "I don't want to be this way." Your post leads me to think two things. One, you may be demisexual. Demisexuality, as I understand it, somewhere between sexual and asexual. (And there are other theorized categories like grey-A.) It is when you only develop sexual attraction once you develop an emotional attraction, which kinda sounds like your first anecdote about how you wanted to be with a guy, and just wanted a relationship. I understood that to mean friendship or platonic love developing perhaps into a sexual relationship. And that's totally okay. Another thing that I think is possible is that you're some kind of multisexual (bisexual or pansexual). It seems clear to me that you like girls a little more but have attraction to men or at least sexual curiosity about men. Multisexualities are also on a spectrum. It's not like you have to be equally attracted to both traditional binary genders to be "authentically" bi. For example, I lean on the gayer side of that spectrum. You seem to lean on the straighter side. And that's okay too. Just keep posting, thinking about how you feel and let us know as things move along.
thank you so much for your post! I think both of those are possibilities for me-- I think I will have to look more in to both.I know that I like girls I just don't know if it's a phase/ if I like guys as well :/. But I really appreciate all of your help.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you had put male on that gender field, so I must have misread that. :icon_redf Also, if you're a Wiki nerd, you might like this resource: Asexuality Wiki - Main Page. I am not able to find a dedicated Wiki on bisexuality, although Wikia and Wikipedia pages of course do exist.
