Does anyone ever feel like even though their parents may accept their sexuality that their parents are secretly hoping they at least stay single and never get married to avoid the real issue. They say they accept you for who you are and stuff but in all honesty they hope that is all they have to deal with. They hope you stay single and never get married to avoid any issues within the family but won't say it directly to you. I have this problem with my mom particularly. My family is a very catholic family however my parents do accept me for being gay and never rejected me for it. It took my dad for a year to acknowledge it and I thought he did not like it or something. That was not really case. The gay marriage amendment in minnesota is a big issue for my church which is talked about pretty much every week leading to the vote.Yesterday my mom went to hear the bishop speak about gay marriage because it is confirmation requirement for my younger sister. I don't feel like I really know how my mom feels about the issue. My grandparents are very conservative and my grandpa in particular is hardcore antigay. My mom is very understanding of her parents views and I understand she has to love her parents no matter what but it is kind of misleading to me. My grandpa can't even talk to a gay person even a gay relative he cannot even shake their hand that is how anti gay he is. For example at a family reunion a gay relative was there wish is a good sign that my family is at least civil with gay people my grandpa would not even talk to him just stare at this relative awkwardly the whole time. Before the reunion he got yelled at by my conservative uncle for wearing a anti gay marriage pin to the event being accused of trying to cause trouble. I am hoping to break the cycle of homophobia in my family by coming out to all of them soon and i think it will work out. I am never gonna consider coming out to my grandparents but that is something my family will understand. I am sorry if this is more of a rant but I needed to let this out
No worries bro, I know your situation pretty well. First you should know, conservative absolutely does not mean anti-gay. There are plenty of anti-gay catholic and muslim liberals out there. And there are plenty of conservatives that are not religious out there, that are conservative because they mostly identify with conservative issues such as the economy, like me. I am very conservative. You can't call a conservative anti-gay, because gay issues have nothing to do with conservatism, gays always existed, so there's nothing to be "conservative" about, not all conservatives are religious. Conservatives are just as diverse as liberals. With that out of the way, my mom is Catholic and my dad is Presbyterian. With my mom, even though I thought she was okay, she was absolutely horrible, and she is not a devout Catholic by the way, just grew up in the Catholic system in New Zealand. New Zealand is predominantly Presbyterian, and as you may know they have LGBT preachers and what not. He was just awkward about it. Being typical NZlanders we aren't religious at all. Pretty much just baptized and that's about it. It will be hard to tell who's homophobic and who isn't. I would have thought my mother would be fine with it, but that wasn't the case. I just came out to my uncle (Dad's) side today, and I got the very surprising news that my sister told him 5 years ago...so yeah whatever. Don't try to break the cycle of homophobia, just be yourself and that will probably break the cycle of homophobia with all the people who are worth a damn anyway... I don't know how good of advice this is, but whatever, I hope this might be of some help to you.
