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Race and Sexuality

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by aMusicJunkie, Dec 10, 2012.

  1. aMusicJunkie

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    I am an african-american male, 100% homosexual and for the Rights of Gay men and women. However, I live in a very religious Black Household and many black families rather tolerant or not are. I find it very difficult to be supportive of LGBT being african-american. Even when looking for 'love', I live in Chicago a major city....I never had a problem with coming to terms with my sexuality I knew all my life, I had an issue coming to terms with my race and sexuality. I am 25 years old now. Has anyone else had these issues? Maybe its my imagination but it seems as most of my white or non-black friends family goes to Gay Pride with their children. My family doesn't, my mother knows of my sexuality, however she wants me to keep it to myself. Most Black families of my friends and myself have no support of our families, no trouble, no support. Is this an issue in the Black community or Black and Gay community? I know I sounds like i'm rambling , but this is on my mind.
     
  2. 4AllEternity

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    Well it's complicated. My guess (being white myself), is that despite modern society having for the most part gotten over racism, there's still a bit of a divide between the different ethnicities (it varies from person to person, place to place. Some places are very integrated, others are more like seperate communities). So depending on where you live in America, African-Americans are probably a minority in themselves, and then Gay African-Americans are like a minority within a minority. So there's not a lot of black gay presence to influence the norms within your community. If there were some more black celebrities who were gay, that would make a world of difference, since like I said in my first point, the cultural barriers that still exist to a certain degree prevent the seamless exchange of social norms between the ethnicities, i.e a white gay celebrity probably has less of an influence in the black communities than a black gay celebrity would.

    Of course, it's also likely just your particular area that's less accepting of gays, you may find that different black communities are much more (or possibly much less) accepting. Most religious people in general have trouble with the idea, some smaller branches of Christianity and Islam are accepting of it (the largest denomination of Christianity that condones and welcomes homosexuality is the United Church of Canada, which is protestant based, but it's views on marriage are officially that it is a celebration of love independant of race, sexuality or religions).
     
  3. LiquidSwords

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    As a white guy in the UK I don't feel like I'm qualified to answer here but hey. It does seem that homophobia is more prevalent amongst black folk in the US, and the UK to a certain extent. It's an issue people need to face up to but hopefully things are starting to change. You have a black president in favour of gay marriage now and for what it's worth hip hop seems to be starting to turn it's back on homophobia.
     
  4. Neutrality

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    I can chime in that in the rural southern US it's the same for white people too. Black culture and southern culture are both traditionally culturally conservative and I think it's the social conservatism causes the homophobic behavior or the sort of semi supportive situation where a family accepts it but, never talks about it or acknowledges it.
     
  5. Gold Griffin

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    Black culture carried many elements of southern culture with it, even when not in the south.
     
  6. dudedette

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    I'm asian, and very "dudely."
    So my family perfer to think of fme as straight since I have qualities of a straight guy. so they tell me jokingly "If you ever need to tell us your gay, Don't.....I'ld rather not know"
    Yep, and so I keep it to myself as well.
    I don't think it is a "race factor" and more in terms of a "value factor". ethnic groups who have stronger value and norms often find "out-of-the-usual" things, such as LGBT people, harder to accept.
     
  7. teluphone

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    Being Asian myself and grew up in many different communities, It really depends on how accepting and how each community have different social norms. I view both Singapore and china's progression towards acceptance is rather slow as compared to the western society though Ive been seeing much less of homophobia nowadays. I do sometimes view myself as a minority within minority whenever I communicate with friends of the same race possibly because of the anxiety I experience especially most people see me as manly straight guy and I actually make friends easier with girls than guys
     
  8. Phoenix

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    I have a question if anyone can answer it, Ice-T's character on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit said that a lot of black people think being gay is a "white man's perversion." Is that true does anyone think? If so, maybe that's why a lot of black people aren't accepting of it, they're viewing it as something they're above so to to speak (NB: I'm white myself, so all of my tangent is purely conjecture).
     
  9. castle walls

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    I can confirm that some people do believe that being gay is the "white man's perversion". I have heard that argument in real life before. The way that it was explained to me is that before slavery there weren't any gay people in Africa so white people corrupted black people. I realize that that makes no sense for a variety of reasons. That is just how that opinion was explained to me.

    I would assume because of how conservative African American culture can be that the culture would not be too accepting to LGBT individuals. I was once told that being gay was looked down on in African American culture because of hyper-masculinity and the importance of men. For example, if a guy is with another guy they aren't being "real men" and if a woman is with another woman she is "ignoring" men. All of that may or may not be true but those are just some theories I've heard in the past.
     
  10. lafemmenoir

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    We live in a society that is eurocentric, misogynist, and heteronormative. so straight white men are essentially at the top and anything that deviates from that standard is regarded as inferior and members of these so-called inferior groups are consequently oppressed through racism, sexism, homophobia, misogyny, etc.

    Within the black community, there is a fear of homosexuality. Just so you know this is present in all communities. However, it may appear more prevalent in our community for a number of reasons. For one, when black people were enslaved and colonized, along with our spiritual practices and other beliefs, a variety of sexual expressions were stolen from us. And in place of all that we were given the Bible which was then used to support racism, sexism, and homophobia. And regardless of whether or not we believe in these things, we being here in this place are forced to be face the consequences of being black, woman, queer, etc.

    So that being said, it makes complete sense why members of certain oppressed groups would fear adopting additional oppression. It's like I'm already black, why the fck would I want to complicate my life further by being gay? Because of this fear you have people developing a hatred towards gay people for example and not realizing that the source of this fear is their existing oppression . so instead of directing this hatred toward the source, they direct it towards us because we are easier to deal with than trying to challenge the number of institutions and ideologies that have been in place for so long that oppress us.

    because really if people were to stop and think they would realize that my sexuality really poses no threat to them. but it is difficult to explain this to people who are so sure of the lies they've been told.

    i am of African descent and can relate to some of what you expressed. i know it is difficult. what helps me is simply understanding the history behind all this and trying not to take things so personally because i know that many who do not approve of my sexuality have been taught to hate me. all we can do is try and educate others when we can.

    as far as support goes, i've had to look outside of traditional sources.
     
  11. lafemmenoir

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    and just so you know there are communities of queer people of color both online and offline coming together to discuss these very sentiments. if you'd like i can direct you to some as well as some books and films you might enjoy reading/viewing
     
  12. Emberblaze

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    Well, from a black guy's perspective (well, if you can even call it that) I don't think there's a problem or anything. I mean, my dad's side of the family (which are more stereotypical black than my mom's side) would actually be more accepting than my mom's side.

    I don't think race has anything to do with it. Life is all about perspective, and that's what counts in the end. Honestly, I look at the world and people as one race-- human.

    On a racial scale, I don't act like any one race. I act black, white, mexican, and asian, all at once. I've got a mutt personality really.

    but that's just the way I see it, and I know I rambled a bit too. But if you're worried about the gay community not accepting you as well because you're black, then I wouldn't worry about that. We're all just people, some may judge some may not. It's just the world we live in so don't feel bad about it
     
  13. Thewitt

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    I am black and I encountered a problem similar to yours. My mom was pretty accepted it didnt really phase her. I was worried about my aunt and my grandma who is a preacher. My grandma was fine with it. My Aunt who i look at as a second mother to me reacted the way your mother did. She didnt understand why i had to tell anyone. I personally did not worry about it to much because I was glad enough that I told her. Also it might just take your mom a while to get used to the idea. I suggest just giving her time, but i feel that as long as she treats you the same that's all that matters.
     
  14. aMusicJunkie

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    Yes i always said if i was a girl i would be a lesbian, or at least Bi. lol, However, being gay isn't my problems just BLACK and gay, in both the black community being gay, and being Black in the gay community.

    ---------- Post added 12th Dec 2012 at 08:23 AM ----------

    I have heard this many times in person before, and there so much ignorance in that statement it ridiculous.
     
  15. pinklov3ly

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    I'm black and a lesbian, but I've always had a difficult time accepting it. I hang around a lot of black people and all they ever do is talk badly about gay people. It's so sickening, but I always speak up because I refuse to sit in silence. Being black and gay isn't acceptable in the community where I'm from. Their argument is absurd, so I'm not going to say it, but I often ask them how in the hell can they discriminate against gays when they were once treated differently. Their answer is ”Being black and gay isn't the same thing.” They think it's a ”choice”, so it's pointless to argue after they make such an ignorant statement. I refuse to waste my time arguing with homophobic people :rolle:

    Just like with racism, homophobia will always exist. I just try to stand for my rights to the best of my ability. I'm so vocal that they call me they Dr. Martin Luther King of gays. Well, then so be it...we're on our way to equality, so be proud to be the minority cause we're like precious rare endangered species :eusa_danc
     
    #15 pinklov3ly, Dec 12, 2012
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2012