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How to be comfortable (and sure) about your sexuality?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Catkin, Dec 27, 2012.

  1. Catkin

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    Hi! Haven't posted in a wee while, but I kinda need some advice.
    I knew that I was uncomfortable with the idea of (maybe) liking girls. I've started to realise that I'm much more scared than I thought. In the last few months I've come out to my housemates as questioning. None of them care ( half of them are gay), but apart from blurting it out to them once, I haven't been able to mention it again, even when it was relevant. I'm even more self conscious with them than I was before and I sometimes regret coming out to them.

    A few days ago I finally managed to ring a helpline. I've been trying for literally months, but I kept panicking any hanging up. So I knew I'd be nervous, but I underestimated how utterly terrified I'd be trying to tell someone that I'm worried and depressed about my sexuality. I could barely talk, I was shaking so hard that I could barely hold the phone and when I hung up I just cried.

    I'm getting increasingly uncomfortable hiding from everyone. I seem to have reached an age where people suddenly expect me to have relationships. The subject is coming up more and more and my strategy of being silent is feeling more intrusive. I almost want to tell some of my family and close friends, just to have it over with. I can't really do that when I still doubt and am horribly uncomfortable with my sexuality. I don't know how to accept this, I don't particularly want to accept that this is real. If I can't do that then there's no point in coming out to anyone, because I'd just end up regretting it. How can you get comfortable with your sexuality, how can you be sure enough and certain enough that you are not just confused to come out to people?
     
  2. MerBear

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    i'm sorry , you're going through this , i'm questioning my sexuality as well , i am 16 so i might not be much help but ever since i started questioning , whenever people ask if i like girls , i totally freak out inside and i personally don't know why , my dad wants to be to get a boyfriend since i haven't had one in 2 years but i don't want one.

    i don't know exactly how to be sure or comfortable , your asking what i'm thinking as well , so hopefully we'll both find an answer
     
  3. ohhsnapple

    ohhsnapple Guest

    You're uncomfortable still because it's still new to you. The more you open up and the more you allow yourself to feel it you will get used to these feelings, which are essentially a part of you. Don't be afraid <3
     
    itsuka likes this.
  4. MerBear

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    well that was a good answer , i think.
     
  5. pinklov3ly

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    I agree :thumbsup:

    You'll never be able to accept yourself if you continue on the path you're on now. It's almost like trying on new clothes to see if they fit or buying a new/used car. You'll never gain confidence feeling the way you're feeling now; I mean, that's nothing wrong with being LGBT. Women are absolutely beautiful! I can remember going on my first date with a girl, I was nervous, but I felt like the luckiest girl in the world to be with her. You have to change your outlook on life and your future; can you picture yourself with a man or a woman? You don't have to have everything figured out now, because I've noticed as I've gotten older I'm more in tune with my feelings. I know exactly who I am, but it's a daily process of accepting myself, it's not easy, but it will get easier in time.

    I think you will feel better once you start embracing your feelings and please don't be ashamed, what you're feeling is natural. I'm here if you ever want to talk (*hug*)
     
    #5 pinklov3ly, Dec 27, 2012
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2012
  6. localfwbguy

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    I can really relate to your current situation. I never in my life thought I would be in this position. Lately I am trying to focus on the concrete positives in my life to try to remain grateful for life. Though, when questioning thoughts come up...my heart sinks. You are not alone, and because of that neither am I. So thank you for being here for me, your struggle has purpose today :slight_smile: