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Being open about my sexuality

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Naomilly92, Jan 10, 2013.

  1. Naomilly92

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    Hi EC,

    I'm out to my family members, and all family members know, via Facebook and etc. I'm really open about my sexuality with my friends, but when I'm with my family, we never speak about it, it's like a massive elephant in the room, it's made me feel like I've gone back in the closet, and with some family members, I haven't actually formally come out to them, but we are on Facebook and I've talked about my sexuality in my statuses etc. But once again, we don't talk about it. I want to be more open about my sexuality with my family, I feel trapped, and there's no way about, can anyone help
     
  2. TheSeeker

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    Up on the Canadian Border in the Rain...
    Hey there! Welcome! I hear ya about the "Elephant in the Room", and I have a couple of ideas. I empathize, first of all, because ever since I came out to my family (my brother in October and my parents in November) it really hasn't been brought up that much in family conversation.

    My brother and I discuss it one on one, as do my Dad and I, but my Mom hasn't said a word about it since I came out. I don't know what her feelings on it are. She is usually very forthright about her opinions on things like this, but it's just like a wall went up between us since that day.

    One idea I have for you is actually pretty simple. You said you are out on Facebook and open about your sexuality with your friends. I imagine the reactions you have gotten have been fairly positive thus far (mine sure have been). But, even though your family knows from that, you should still sit them down and tell them.

    They might not know that you actually want to talk about it with them, they might not feel rather you wanted them to know or not. But most of all, I bet they are hurt that you haven't bothered to tell them directly. I know my parents were pretty hurt that they were the last to know. I recommend sitting them down and just addressing it openly, it gives you a chance to answer questions about homosexuality in general and correct misconceptions they may have. Make it clear that this is an unchangeable part of who you are, and that you want them to love all of you, not just the you they are most familiar with.

    Make it clear that this is something you are comfortable with, and maybe they will be too. Make sure you provide them with whatever resources they may need to understand, but also realize that they might need some space as well. After all, you have had years to come to terms with yourself but they haven't had nearly so long.

    Let us no how it goes, hope that helps, and don't forget we are here for you!

    Queerly yours,

    The Seeker