How do you truly 100% know your sexuality?

Porn is just too porny and fucks your head up lol. Base it on real life attractions, in your normal state.

 

Porn is not a great indicator of sexual orientation. Just think about who you really find attractive, and what is their gender the vast majority of the time.

 

This is the way I see it. You will never 100% know your sexuality. If you're anything like me, I think the kind of person who is looking for a definitive answer will always be doomed to be sorely disappointed when it comes to sexuality, because sexuality is inherently fluid.

Look at it this way instead. I call myself gay because even though I might not be 100% always attracted to guys, I have been for the majority of the time as long as I can remember. I'm sure there's the possibility I'll find some girl really, really hot. But for most intents and purposes, "gay" fits that category just fine.

The only point of a label is it's a one-word, condensed version of your sexual orientation (preferences, possibly). If you don't like a specific label, you could go for a more general one like "queer" or "not straight". If you don't like labels at all, then don't use one... but you might have to explain your preferences quite a bit.

An analogy for that: I read my can of soup - the label says "chicken noodle". You could rip off that label, open the can, and describe it as "a chicken broth that contains swirly or straight noodles with some mixed vegetables and might be too salty". Both are valid, but one takes a hell of a lot more work to explain on a regular basis. It's a personal preference thing.

 

You sound just like me. I love guys, but at the same time I can tell if a girl is pretty or not. I don't feel any attraction to them whatsoever. When my best friend who is a girl tried to turn me on, it didn't work, but when her boyfriend, who is bi and also sexy as hell, tried I got hard fast. She knows I'm gay, and I have told her that she is pretty, especially since she is so negative towards herself.

 

You know based on your sexual feelings from the past and present. If it's been mostly or entirely the same sex, it is safe to say it will remain that way throughout the future. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging a little wiggle room of some sort of shift in orientation in the future, but don't live your life dwelling on that 1-5% chance.

 

When you look at ZZ Ward and feel no sexual attraction— then look at Hugh Jackman and hit your friends and squeal "OMG he's so hot!!!"

 

This is why get frustrated that we are sort of forced to define our sexual orientation... if it is so fluid, then what is the point of labeling it and defining it if it can change? Hence why I would prefer not to label myself at all...

 

Mariebmcd, ask all the gay men who have gone through the pains of conversion/reparative/behavioral therapy to try to change their sexual orientation. Ask them how impossible it was to become attracted to women. They may have been able to suppress their same sex feelings, but it never changed or even shifted their attractions towards women one bit. Those are examples of sexual orientation being black & white, rigid, and unchanging. Some people, however, are sexually fluid. But not all. This just adds more confusion then there needs to be. The reality is some people are rigid and others are fluid. But not everyone is rigid, just like not everyone is fluid.

 

I contend that the Elephant Test is the only way to test your sexuality.

Sexual attraction and desire is hard to describe, but you'll know it when you have it.

 

Oh jeez, didn't mean to strike a cord. Sorry for any offense. I assure you it was not intentional.

I realize that someone else cannot change your sexual orientation, I am not that ignorant. AND I understand how this 'fluidity' may not apply to everyone. I was simply stating that it is difficult to adopt a label if down the road you know it may change and the label may no longer be as appropriate as it was. Which, I understand cannot be foreseen in advance. You don't know you are fluid or not until something proves it otherwise... However, with any 'change' in how one define their sexual orientation as someone can easily challenge you by saying 'oh but I thought you were into ____.' All I am saying is, it's frustrating. I do not want to adopt a definition to later learn that it no longer applies.